home...sort of

Me with mom & sister, Lindy @ T-giving dinner

Happy Thanksgiving! (again) Thursday was eventful...I arrived home in Seattle around 2pm, hung out at the airport until 3ish when my dad arrived on his last minute flight he was able to get from San Diego (originally wasn't going to be able to come home, but he was able to get a flight!) and came out to the new house in Redmond that my parents moved into last month, for about 20 minutes, then back down to Kirkland to meet up with the rest of the Talbott clan for dinner.

It's a little weird to be staying in a different house; I lived in the other one my whole life, so this doesn't quite feel "right" yet. My mom has made the adjustment well and feels right at home, but for me who is just home for holidays, I now don't even know how to find this neighborhood from the freeway! Not sure what needs to take place to make it feel like home, perhaps having Christmas here next month will help. I'm glad I got to stay for a couple days and start getting used to it. :)

Happy T-day

Happy Thanksgiving!
I fly out in the morning, home to the new house in Redmond, WA...barring any traffic or airport issues, I'll make in time for the Talbott turkey dinner. We've rented out a community center to hold the 50+ of us that can make it. :) Looking forward to seeing everyone and spending a long weekend with mom! (Shopping anyone??)

Overload

Here is what I am thinking and feeling in bullet form, since that is about the only way I can make sense of it right now, because:

• I am really sick, just a head cold, but a miserable one that my drugs are not touching. Bad headache, runny nose, sore throat, sneezing, need I go on... and this is no doubt affecting how I am processing this other information...
• I got some really difficult news earlier today that I am not sure what to do with, how to respond, how to react to this person that I love very much but who is really hurting others with their actions, including me. I'm at a loss to know what to do, and long term prayers that have no noticeable answer yet seem to add to my confusion. I don't know how to deal with this this time.
• I just gave my full name as it appears on my passport for my ticket to the Philippines in January.
• An idea for a possible full-time missions opportunity for after school has been floated, and the ministry, language, etc. seem to be a great fit. Something to pray specifically about, and possibly take a visit to in the next year!
• I found out today that the vacant position at work that I have been sort of filling in for has been eliminated. My added responsibilities are now going to be permanent. This is hard in the sense that I'm not sure how things are going to work without someone in that position. But it's good because I now will get to learn new design programs and new things for my job! This is exciting.
• I am really not feeling good and I have no sick days left. The day's almost over...and I have a test tonight.

prayer

Discipline #2: Prayer

"To pray is to change. Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us."

"We must hear, know, and obey the will of God before we pray it into the lives of others."

Rather than despairing at what lacks in our prayer life compared to those "giants of faith, we should remember that God always meets us where we are and slowly moves us along to deeper things. Occasional joggers do not suddenly enter an Olympic marathon. The prepare and train themselves over a period of time, and so should we. When such a progression is followed, we can expect to pray a year from now with greater authority and spiritual success than at present."

"We must never wait until we feel like praying before we pray for others. Prayer is like any other work; we may not feel like working, but once we have been at it for a bit, we begin to feel like working. Our prayer muscles need to be limbered up a bit and once the blood-flow of intercession begins, we will find that we feel like praying."

(From Celebration of Discipline)

Homework that is thought provoking! Imagine that.

I have had the song "Lion of Judah" in my head for weeks. We've been singing it in church a lot and I learned it on the guitar so I can play it whenever I want. But I think it has become stuck there because over the last week and a half I've been consumed with a big project on Revelation 5 for my Daniel & Revelation class.

The song is celebratory and extols the Lamb as I imagine the scene in Revelation 5, of ten thousands upon ten thousands of angels and all the heavenly host, plus every created being, worshiping the Lamb who was slain:

"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!"

"To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!"

Working on this project I was convicted: everything said here applies to our worship of Christ. I have heard of a book I think called "Your Jesus is too small" or something. I don't know what it's about but I think we suffer that syndrome. We easily lose the sense of the Jesus of Revelation: there is wrath, there is glory, power, and all authority. He is our friend and our brother, yes, but he is also the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords! He is worthy of all worship from every created being.

I often forget this and my worship is nowhere on the scale of the worship Christ receives in Revelation. I am guilty of not offering him the level of worship that he deserves and demands. He is worthy to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing! Do I give him that in my life?

meditation, callouses, and other goals

I figure since I'm going to be teaching on the disciplines in January, now would be a good time for me to study them and practice different ones for myself. I ordered a few workbooks and study guides on the subject to see if any of them might be worth using in the Philippines, and also of course for myself! First I am turning back to Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.
Last week I was challenged on the issue of living by faith. I was having a hard time identifying any area in my life in which I'm currently being required to live by faith (as opposed to madly holding everything together on my own). So here is where I begin... disciplines require faith for God's grace for inner transformation. It's his work, not our own, which is good, because my willpower can only get me so far (especially when you put a piece of chocolate cake in front of me).

First up: meditation.

Davette and I have decided to memorize 2 Corinthians. We are in week 2 of four verses a week. Foster suggests spending an entire week on a single passage for the purpose of meditation. I can memorize without meditating, though I'm not sure what the purpose of that would be. So I already have my passage chosen for me each week. I am internalizing the reality of God's comfort in troubles and suffering, which is for the purpose of then turning to comfort others. I've already been able to share that message with someone this week!

A central purpose of meditation is "centering." It is balace, peace through activities of the day, ability to rest and enjoy beauty, and ability to pace oneself. Again I can exercise faith in God's grace as I engage in this discipline regularly, and expect not only a growing desire to engage, but to see that balance and peace rule my day rather than hurry and noise.

On another PAINFUL note, I have been encouraged to start playing my guitar again regularly. I used to hide in my room for hours a day playing this baby, but it's been months. This week I feel a regular throbbing in my fingertips and horrible pain everytime I touch the strings. I have to build my callouses back up! It's the familiar mantra, "play through the pain." I want to lead worship again, and I want to improve to a point of feeling comfortable doing that. Hopefully I can be disciplined in this area too. I once heard someone say in response to a student expressing frustration about a plateauing rate of improvement: "Have you prayed over it?" So, for whatever it's worth, I prayed over my guitar today. :) It's not a spiritual discipline, but a physical one, one that I hope to engage in regularly as well...