so this is what a vacation feels like

Most of the team left last night, and Charity and a couple others left for Phuket this morning (if I'd only known!!). I had today and tomorrow wide open, my last two days here in Bangkok. Thanks to Facebook, I had reconnected with Katie, a friend from college, a couple years ago and knew she was teaching here. She had today free as well, and what a day we had!

1 - had brunch at this amazing crepe restaurant. SO good.
2 - went to MBK, an insane Thai shopping mall. Like the outdoor markets with all the same stuff, just inside a 6 story mall. Anything you could ever want and not need.
3 - thai massage. I think it was the best massage I have ever had in my life. And my 4th or 5th spa treatment since being here. :)
4 - THE BEST THING EVER: she took me to this international grocery store, where I bought, among other things, CHOCOLATE CHIPS, JIF peanut butter, Jello pudding mix, canned pumpkin, Kraft mac & cheese, betty crocker (I think?) chocolate chip cookie mix in the bag (a whole bunch), vanilla, zip lock bags, etc. etc. Basically my whole list of things I can't get in Greece. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven...in many ways this could be the highlight of my entire trip. You don't understand. I wonder how I'm going to get all this home.
5 - dinner at an amazing Mexican restaurant, nachos and tacos and margaritas, oh my. I am loading up on Mexican here since it's rather scarce in Athens.
6 - went back to my guest house and crashed from exhaustion for just a few minutes (needed some AC after all the excitement. Whew!)
7 - went to a hair salon and got these cool things in our hair. Basically they are hair-thin tinsel-like strips that they tie in that are kind of shiny or sparkly. I got some black ones in there. Something different.

It is totally lame that I haven't been able to post pictures; when I get back home next week they'll come by the hundreds, no doubt. I've taken so many! I'm excited to share them.

winding down...

I have loads of time today and nowhere to be until outreach tonight and I don't really feel like blogging. I wrote a nice long update on the other blog yesterday (or maybe the day before? They all blend together now), so just go read that. :)

The team from NightLight USA (Los Angeles) leaves tonight. I have two more days here in Bangkok, whatever will I do with myself? I have LOVED spending time with these girls. Loved my roommate, Shirley - waiting for her to come visit me in Greece now! Some people you just have an instant connection with, and I feel a little bit like God sent her (and the group) my way this past week and a half. It's almost depressing thinking about being alone again, but I'm trusting for that to change soon.

The other night at outreach, I was sitting in a bar with a couple of the NL ladies watching drunk men throw ping pong balls at the girls dancing on poles up on the stage. I had noticed one girl in particular because she had glasses; that is unusual. When it wasn't her shift to be onstage, she wrapped herself tightly in a shawl and sat, very closed off, in a corner. Near the end of our time there, suddenly I felt someone plop themselves down next to me and lean on me. It was her. We chatted for a bit; her English was great. Her story is just like the rest: her husband left her and she is here working to support her kids back home. But this girl was 43 years old. She didn't look it. Her kids are in college and she's been here five years. She doesn't like it, of course, but "doesn't have a choice." Most likely she hasn't seen her family in all those years.

It's so sad! This whole place is sad. The attitude of many of the men coming for sex tourism is that this is what Thai girls are for, this is what Thailand is for. And it's not unusual to hear them say it. Yet for all the thousands of girls in prostitution for sex tourism, that makes up only a tiny percentage of the picture: 80-90% of prostitution in Thailand is domestic - for Thai men. So much a part of the culture, generation after generation.

I've learned a lot from NightLight and the other groups we've visited here. Much of it wouldn't work in Athens; the situations of the girls, trafficking, and the industry looks completely different here. But many strategies and especially their models for prayer and ministry are very applicable. There are thousands of trafficked girls here too, mostly from Eastern Europe - the approach with them is completely different and NightLight adapts to their needs when they are working with them. But their main ministry is to the Thai women in the bars.

I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do for the next two days; I have some options, and they are letting me stay at the guest house which is a blessing. We'll see...

Soi Cowboy

I have not really been on a computer in days. We have been so busy, but it's all been really good. I only have a few minutes, because we meet for outreach again in about 20, but wanted to check in with a quick update!

So much going on here. The sex industry looks so different here than it does in Athens or L.A. As we go into the bars (which are more like strip clubs where the men can pick a girl with a number attached to her bikini to buy for the next 24 hours), the satanic stuff is really powerful. There are three main areas like this in Bangkok for foreigners from what I can see; Nana, Patpong, and Soi Cowboy. We have seen all three now.

We visited another ministry yesterday, Rahab Ministries, that does outreach in Patpong. This area is only two streets, but there are 4000 to 5000 girls working there!! This gives you an idea of the extent of it. NightLight works around the Nana area, and I think after several years of their presence, prayer, and influence, it is a little tamer than the others. It has been awesome to meet some of the women rescued from this life.

I'll have to write more on the shocking facts and statistics I've heard here; it blows my mind. But, also, thankfully, we've had fun times and touristy times too: some huge markets with great stuff, the Great Palace, Wat Arun, going up the river, a Thai cooking class yesterday where we made amazing food and basically ate for 4 hours, and some lovely spa treatments. :)

I must run - hopefully will have more time later this week for a better update. The time here with this team from LA has been so encouraging and uplifting for me. If anything, it's made me miss what I don't have in Greece (the community). Been praying lots for that.

hasta :)

I am blogging from a spa.

Yesterday I had a massage. Today I had a facial. I will be back for more. So cheap and so nice!! Yay Thailand.

We toured the Night Light offices yesterday and last night went out to do outreach in the bars. An "entertainment plaza," three stories around an outdoor plaza, with flashing lights, loud music, and lots of girls. NL has relationships with a lot of the girls and the mamasans. I will write more details later!

P.S. my attitude of disgust is mostly gone...replaced with pity I think. It's a sad place. :(

quick hi from bkk!

Well, hi, I made it! It's great to be able to wear my flip flops again. :)

I got in yesterday afternoon, found my way to my hotel, and killed a couple hours walking around the Sukhumvit area where we're staying, got myself some food, and fell asleep at 8pm. Apparently I had caught up on sleep by the time the rest of the group arrived at 2am, because I didn't go back to sleep after that! I'm only 5 hours off from Athens, so jet lag shouldn't be too bad.

First impression: there are SO MANY single male travelers. White, middle-aged, alone. It took approximately 5 minutes on the street yesterday to notice that they were filling the bars and restaurants, some sitting with young thai women, to be completely disgusted. Today, too, as we took a tour around this area (the hub of the red light district, where all the bars, etc. are), I really struggled with these feelings of disgust. Hearing a 60 year old American guy with a fanny pack go up to a woman and say eagerly, "So I hear this is the best salon in town!" makes me want to vomit. Preferably on him. Or in his fanny pack. Really struggling with this. I know they are "enslaved" too, and I have done a better job having compassion for these men before, but never has it been so in-my-face and I want them to feel ashamed and know they are disgusting. I guess you could pray for my attitude; I am.

Charity's parents are here, as they are an integral part of Night Light Bangkok, and her dad said that he hates traveling here alone, because he knows what that looks like. Pity the innocent business man that has to come here alone - everyone knows why they are "really" here.

There are certain districts where only Thai women work, and others where you find women who are trafficked from mostly Eastern Europe. In other areas there are throngs of beggars, who are also often in some sort of debt bondage, exploiting their mutilated limbs, leprosy, or drugged babies for a few Thai Baht.

The group is amazing; I really like the girl I'm sharing a room with, and we have some amazing things planned this week. We'll do outreach in the bars a few nights, volunteer in the Night Light offices where the women are employed making jewelry, and visit Pattaya, a beach city known for its sex industry, and visit a few other ministries working with these women. We also get to see most of the sites around the city - they want us to experience the "good" of the city too - and take a Thai cooking class! Yum. Should be fun. Tonight we are going downtown to see the movie "Soi Cowboy," which is about the sex industry here.

I'll try to get some pictures posted sometime if possible (when I actually have pictures to post - can't take pictures with a lot of what I do!).

All for now~

Corinth & Cenchrea

Well, it's a good thing I'm leaving tomorrow. Because I was SO SAD after I said goodbye to my friends tonight. :( It has been so wonderful to hang out with them these past three days, and today I got to go to Corinth and Cenchrea with them. It was a fun day - reminiscent of our Israel trip. These last three nights have been great, exploring different places in Athens; it's nice to have people to do things with. I told them tonight that after they leave my social life will return to its previous state: non-existent. :)

Jen, who has been a great encouragement to me as I've prepared to come overseas. She was in India for three years, and is a great encourager and prayer partner!

The Corinth Canal, 4 miles cut through the Isthmus of Corinth:

The Acrocorinth: "Quite a hike" ... spectacular views of the Peloponnese on the way up. Jorge broke his leg last year, and had surgery to remove screws (I think?) three weeks before they came on this trip. He makes the cane look cool. :)At the top! Gulf of Corinth:Erastus was a government official in Corinth, mentioned four times in the New Testament:Temple of Apollo:The famous Nero head, in the museum: And onto Cenchrea...Paul visited in Acts 18 and mentioned in Romans 16.
Susan, another friend from the Israel trip:

What a blessing to be able to spend the day with these people, have real conversations and even a bit of prayer. :) Tomorrow morning they head to Rome for the last leg of their trip. Now I MUST finish packing, and sleep, for I have quite a long journey tomorrow myself!

familiar faces!

A group from my grad school is here this weekend! They are on a Turkey-Greece-Rome tour, like my Israel trip last year. Many of the same people are on this trip. It's been SO wonderful to spend time with some friends. It was funny tonight as they took pictures of everything, something I try to avoid since I live here. But tonight I just enjoyed being a foreigner too. :)

In just a few short days...

Wat Arun, Bangkok. Image borrowed from here.

I've got just two full days left before I leave on my trip! I don't get Monday, because I've got a little excursion planned. So this weekend I'll be doing all those last-minute things to get ready to go to Thailand and Cambodia on Tuesday.

It's a little weird going overseas from already being overseas. But, as this is home now, I shall be trying to figure out where to get bug spray and other necessities from any pharmacy that I can find that is open on Saturdays (how's that for planning ahead?).

So - I am really looking forward to this trip!! I loved, loved working with Charity last year during my job with the Salvation Army. Partnering with her organization, NightLight, to do outreach and prayer and other events, was definitely a highlight. I am excited to see her, catch up, pray together, and hear about the ways she has been fighting human trafficking literally all over the world the last few months.

We'll be in Bangkok and I think Pattaya (a city known specifically for its sex industry!), etc. for about nine days. I've mentioned before that Thailand gets 59% of their nationwide income from the sex industry. NightLight started in 2005 as a business employing women coming out of prostitution. As of last summer they had 72 women employed, and over 120 women have come through the program. I'm so excited to see their business model and meet these amazing women. We will be doing outreach in the red light district and I know I will see things I've never seen before - it may be the same "trade," but it looks different in every part of the world. I am praying for a really meaningful, stirring, maybe even shocking (I'm not easily shocked) time there.

And then onto Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I am looking forward to my meeting with one of the directors of the Chab Dai Coalition, a Christian organization that is made up of over 40 agencies and organizations fighting sex trafficking there. Last year I was helping teach a segment in a Hands that Heal course in Long Beach and I met one of the girls who works for them. We got to talking and this visit is the result of that. I have many questions - I hope to learn a lot of things that I can bring back here to implement in Greece. They have bi-annual meetings with all their members, and they do community education, trainings, offer resources, and have a research center and library. So much of what I'd love to see happen here! The Greek mentality about working together is so different...

I will have two days there, so I might have time to visit some of the sights there - I've made a list. Near the top would be the genocide museum; the city is still recovering from the Khmer Rouge regime of the '70s, so it will be interesting (and sobering) to see the effects of that and learn more about the history.

Wow! Should be an amazing experience. I'd say my self-confidence about traveling solo has skyrocketed in the past year, so I feel ready, and I'm really looking forward to learning and absorbing everything I can!

happy friday!

missing community

I did not do very well with inconveniences earlier this week. You know, handling everything with grace and patience. Or something like that. A few hours removed, they really are no big deal (though still inconvenient!). I realize then that although my first month has felt like a relatively easy transition, things like stress or exhaustion may be bubbling under the surface.

Before, I was just thinking it would be good to have community. Now, at this point, I am craving it. I need community, support, prayer. Friends who worship and pray in my language. People who support me because they are experiencing similar things in life. I love - and am thankful for - my Greek "family" here, but they do not meet this need. "Community" is like a mirror for us; how we see ourselves reflected back and the ways we need to grow - and ultimately, what sharpens us to grow. How I am missing this right now!! (And you ladies plus the others who aren't in the photo above!)

Along with my prayers for that, I've been praying that somehow I could be of use with other gifts here. Somehow I have found myself playing the guitar for worship occasionally at Elias & Voula's house church on Sunday nights. It is very small, more like a small home group, but Pepie has semi-permanently loaned me her guitar, so I can play whenever I want, and serve them this way on Sundays. This seems to be one of those things I'd like to hide away but always get asked to do. :)

I asked a girl for her phone number on Sunday at church. :) Haha. How awkward. Making new friends takes time.

a favorite memory

This picture flashed on my computer desktop's rotating picture viewer slide show thing the other day. It takes me back a few years...let's see, 2003, I think. My birthday, July 11, 2003.

I was in Turkey for the summer, six weeks, with a girl named Angie from the east coast (a short term missions program through the organization Christar). I was there exploring possible long term missions, and I wanted to be in a Muslim country. Turkey had always stood out to me for some reason, so I decided to quit my job at Children's Hospital in Seattle and go to Turkey (en route to Los Angeles, where I would move in September '03).

Angie and I were together sometimes, and separate sometimes. We spent a few weeks in Ankara staying with missionary families and teaching English at a little Christian bookstore, a week in Kayseri, a smaller city where we stayed with separate Turkish families and I visited a really rural village and had to go to the bathroom outside, a week on the Aegean Sea at a Turkish high school church camp where we entertained the kids and visited Ephesus (on my birthday - in the pic), a stop in very cool Cappadocia, an extra week for me in Bolu, a college town, staying with another Turkish family...and always back to Ankara. I love Ankara.

One of the girls in Ankara that I got to know was Derya. She lived in a highrise near one of the missionary families I stayed with and taught their kids Turkish. She was a very new Christian. She read the Bible with such awe that Christianity started right there where she lived, and she never knew. "I mean, I am FROM Galatia!" she would exclaim. All the biblical sites she knew well, but not as biblical sites; they were simply part of Turkey's ancient cultural heritage.

She was with us that week we were at the camp on the Aegean. I can't remember if she was a camp counselor or what, but it worked out for her to come to Ephesus with Angie and I one afternoon. It happened to be my 24th birthday - one of the best birthdays ever spent. It was 9 million degrees but the city is amazing. I have lots of pictures that I just looked through for the first time in probably 5 years. (Poor quality, as it was before I had a digital camera. Before I left for Greece I found the CDs in a box and uploaded them onto my computer.) But this picture in particular is so great to me...

Angie and I were sitting up in the Great Theater. The acoustics in these things are always supposed to be really great. At the top you can hear a whisper from someone standing in the center below. Together, we had read Acts 19:23-41, the riot in Ephesus over Paul's teachings that ended right in that theater. In the photo, Derya is standing on the stage below us. She took her Bible and read aloud the book of Ephesians in its entirety with passion and conviction. :) How amazing to her (and us) to be standing in the very place that these events took place, and so many Turks have no idea. She didn't. She read as though she wanted everyone in the place to know. I will never forget the wonder and amazement and new excitement that she experienced as a new Christian exploring these ancient sites right in her own country, where her new faith had its beginnings.

yeah, so...

I live here?! This is just right over there. I walk by it like it's an office building or something else totally mundane. Not the Acropolis. I wonder how many Greeks do the same? For many I think it is a thing of pride, but for many I'm sure it just fades into the horizon. Hoping that doesn't happen to me...

stuck...

is how I sometimes feel here. I can't really go anywhere that isn't on the bus or metro line. Today I bought a printer/scanner/copier thing so that I can finally scan and send my receipts to LTF and it didn't work. I spent two hours chatting online with HP support. That was a LONG walk home with a heavy box this morning...tomorrow I get to do it again, and hope they take it back at the store. Oh, how I miss my car.

I am trying to make an appointment with a doctor for my knee. Except it's far, and you have to go in rather than calling. So I am dependent on someone with a car (in this case Voula) to either take me - only to make the appointment! - or make me one herself, which she said she'd do if she got over there tomorrow.

I think if I had a car here I would be gone every weekend, at least for the day, to explore some of the sights around here. I could also buy more at the grocery store than I can carry with two hands on a ten minute walk. I could get to church in 15 minutes instead of the 45-50 minute walk/metro commute.

Tonight I feel grumbly, about this dumb machine and having to walk a half hour again tomorrow with it in my arms, not trusting the people at the store to even exchange it or take it back, and if they do, a half hour back with another one. Sigh.

That is all for my one-allowed-per-year complaining blog. There are bigger problems in the world, yes. Except that, also, my bank card was declined yesterday when I tried to get money out, because apparently they forgot I am in Greece or something. :-/ That is all.

the view from here

This is where I sit when I am typing to you...or skyping to you...

...and the magnificent view from my room:

For good measure, here is my kitchen:

And the view from my balcony, down the street:

a stone and a seed. Or, the ups and downs of the daily life here...

I'm sorry I don't have a photo related to today's post, so here is a nice picture of some goats eating out of a tree in Nazareth in Israel last year, since I have heard that "some people" do not read posts with no pictures.

Well, where to begin? Chronological order is a popular method. On Wednesday, after I went to the gym, Voula called to cancel my Greek lesson. They had come home from vacation at 1am the night before to find their house totally ransacked. It had been broken into, a number of things stolen, and every single item taken out of cupboards, drawers, closets, boxes, etc. and dumped on the floor. It was so awful. I mentioned in my post here that violent crime is really rare here in Greece. Unfortunately, crimes like this are commonplace. The police officers that came said they respond to 7 or 8 of these scenes every day - I think that was just in this area. Break-ins and thefts are so common that almost every Greek person I know here has either been robbed or has a family member or friend who has. :(

I helped clean up the apartment Wednesday night, and went to the police station with Voula to make her report. It's unlikely that they will get anything back - especially that feeling of being safe in their own house! It happened to Pepie two years ago - same exact scenario. She has since moved to this new neighborhood but it's still in the back of her mind. Especially now since Voula lives four blocks away. Yuck. And sad, and awful.

How to transition from that topic?? Here is a photo of Janell in Santa Barbara as a mermaid.

So, last night I went to a New Year's event for ENOW, the European Network of Women, who operates a number of services here including a shelter for human trafficking victims. I sat with some of the shelter volunteers and the woman who coordinates most of the shelter happenings. They are really concerned about finances - this is the shelter I mentioned a few weeks ago that is in danger of closing - but I talked with Ana Maria about volunteering with them. There are a few specific ways I can help right now, so it was good to talk.

We talked briefly about my trip to Thailand, and she asked me to bring her back a stone and a seed. "A stone and a seed? Do you collect those?" I asked. "No," she said, "but I have a very special connection with stones, and a very special connection with seeds. Especially trees."

Okaaay.

And today, I met with people from Nea Zoi, the group that does outreach here in Athens into the brothels and on the streets. I hope to start going on outreaches with them in the next few weeks. Yay. :) They have been established here for ten years, doing outreach and other programs for people in prostitution, so I'm excited to be able to be a part of what they're doing.

Voula came over tonight for a quick Greek lesson, since we hadn't met in over a week. Guess what, this language is hard. No matter how quickly I get it on paper, understanding when spoken to is a completely different matter! :( I have never heard Greek spoken regularly before (ok, Biblical Greek does not count. I am convinced that someone made that whole "pronunciation" up.), so I can't really recognize it yet. I can read and translate paragraphs. But when Voula says the same thing to me out loud I stare at her blankly. Obviously, knowing grammar rules is not going to do me any good if I can't talk to anyone. So I've received the sentence of more conversation in our upcoming lessons. I'm going to need more aspirin.

And there you have my spectacular updates on the last three-ish days. And here is me, back in my stoner days:

Just kidding. That's from Kristin's and my housewarming party a couple years ago. Raise your hand if you've been reading this blog that long, yay!

getting on with it...?

I joined a gym. Hallelujah, for something to do, and some way to actually move around a bit.

Yesterday was yet another holiday in Greece, Epiphany. The traditional celebration culminates when a priest throws a golden cross into the water and all the crazy people jump in after it. Whoever gets the cross has good luck for the rest of the year. The ships in the harbor all line up for blessings, too - "The Blessing of the Water." I went out for a walk in the morning, but most of the festivities happened later in the morning. So I heard the ships' horns from my chair right here at my desk.

Honestly, I'm relieved that the holidays are finally over. It would be easy to have zero human contact on these days when everything is closed and no one does anything. I couldn't take another day of that yesterday, so I found the boys in the basement and played podosphero (football/soccer) and then spent a couple hours with them and Lydia upstairs (George is gone on business this week).

Today, like I said, normal life can resume. I am excited about the gym; I've been dying here with my 80-year-old knee and my sprained ankle (which is pretty much better now). When I was training for triathlons and mountain biking a lot, my knee was doing fairly well, because of the different muscles strengthened by biking that supported my knee better. So I'm hoping that some time on the bike in the gym will help again. Sadly, I've not seen a single person on an actual bike here, and I think I would probably be smashed in the streets if I attempted to ride one. So, to the gym I go. The owner pretty much acted as personal trainer today, which was awesome. He showed me ways to help my knee, too. I'm pretty sure I will be sore tomorrow! Also - my Greek lessons resumed today, so that's another 2 hours I can kill during the day.

I really need some friends.

(P.S. don't forget about the other blog if you are interested in work/ministry stuff...) :)

The Joys of Skype

Sometimes I spend more time talking to my "cyber" friends and family (from home) than actual human beings here, I think. I'm hoping that ratio will change eventually. :) But it's been SO wonderful to talk to and SEE so many people from home! Even being able to talk for free is great; seeing them is a bonus! When Sharone and I first discovered the "take picture" feature, oh what lively entertainment we had for the next hour. I did not escape the "video call snapshot."

Is this a good advertisement for Skype? It's free, and even if you don't have a webcam, you can still talk for free. I have a few friends who do that too. The video is free too though...hours upon hours of pleasantries and merriment, all while feeling as if you're in the same room! Sort of. Except when you get all pixel-ly or the picture freezes. But in general, I've been very thankful for this program and those who I can share it with. It's made being far away and having few friends here much, MUCH more tolerable.

another bad day for Greek birds

That's Delphi, where 9 or 10 people from church went today. Without me. My ankle probably would have been fine, but I woke up with this weird cold/shaky/dizzy/shivery thing going on, and since I couldn't stand up for very long without wanting to puke, I went back to bed. :( I can go to Delphi another time, since I live here, but I'm bummed to miss out on spending time with people. I spend so much time alone!

Later this afternoon I went for a walk to the post office, where I saw a dead bird fall out of the sky (seriously, I have no idea where it came from) and land loudly on a parked car. Apparently Greece is not the most optimal place for birds to live long, healthy lives. By the time I got back to the house I wasn't feeling so hot. And my knee was hurting. I am a hot mess. I think I am 80 years old.

I am excited that it's January...I actually get to start working, AND I have some exciting things coming up! In a couple weeks a group from my grad school will be coming to Athens for three days. It's the trip I went to Israel last year with; this year they are doing Turkey, Greece and Rome. It will be so good to see some familiar faces! Then, on the 20th, I leave for Thailand and Cambodia. I'll write more about this trip soon - I'm going to meet with a few organizations who do what we want to do here in Greece. I'll be with my friend Charity from NightLight in Bangkok, but I'll be on my own in Cambodia...should be interesting!! My mom is really excited for me to be all alone in Phnom Penh. ;)

Vasilopita

It was a beautiful day today...I went on a walk since I can't run because of my knee, saw several dead birds including one, a pidgeon, whose death by speeding taxi I witnessed, and sprained my ankle. Gotta love the pot-holed streets here. The best part is, I can hardly walk at all, because one ankle is sprained, and the opposite knee is crap. How old am I?!?!

Ok, returning to regularly scheduled blogging, Happy New Year!!! I went to bed at 4am. So did the kids (and the other adults). Today both sets of grandparents came over, and I went up again for more eating and just fun time with the family.

This is vasilopita, a traditional Greek cake made on New Year's. We had one last night and one today. It is baked with a coin inside, and the person who gets the coin in their slice has good luck for a year. I didn't get it last night, which is obviously why I sprained my ankle this morning. I didn't get it today either, so I wonder what is going to happen tomorrow.

I hope you had a great new year's eve and day - ever the anticlimactic holiday if you ask me. :) Not here though; it's the day when Santa comes, and more presents are given. Anyway, I am supposed to go to Delphi on Saturday - pray that my ankle heals enough so I can walk!!!