are you kidding me!?!?

When I was in Greece in March, there was a garbage strike, a transportation strike, and a gas strike.

I was doing a little investigating tonight about the flight situations and the riots. Wouldn't you know it: it is not in fact the rioting that is cancelling flights...THERE IS AN AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS STRIKE. One day, on Wednesday, the day I was supposed to arrive. So at least I can leave tomorrow, to arrive on Thursday night.

I am told that these things, like strikes and riots and marches, will be commonplace to me very soon. Burning cars? Eh, just part of a regular day.

I'm still here.

I have one more unexpected day to enjoy my friends in LA. I squeezed everything into three suitcases (!), finished most of what I needed to get done (the rest is just "oh well"), and even had the bags in the car. I was trying to check in online and it wasn't letting me, so I called the airline and found out my Frankfurt to Athens leg had been cancelled. All the flights into Athens are cancelled today and tomorrow because of the riots. I would have been stranded in Frankfurt, so instead I changed my LA to Frankfurt flight too. So here I am, until tomorrow, when I'll try it again, arriving in Athens (hopefully) on Thursday instead of tomorrow.

What to do with myself!? I have absolutely nothing to do, which, despite the disappointment about not getting to leave yet, feels wonderful!! I was definitely ready to go, excited about what's waiting for me on the other side, so at first I was bummed. But, I have nothing that I need to be there for this week, and I'll get there eventually, so I'm going to enjoy doing nothing and spending the last few hours with friends.

The farewell tour continued through the weekend; Sunday night the college group had "My Big Fat Greek Christmas Party" which was also sort of a goodbye party...there was nothing Greek about it but it was nice. I will really miss so many of those girls!

Last night a smaller group got together for prayer, covering every part of the trip, ministry, and me personally. It was good to pray and be prayed for. (I know, too, that even cancelled flights are in God's plans.) Some of the girls hung out for a bit afterward:

and then I went home and proceeded to stay up until 2am. I'm a bit tired (got up at 6:30 to get ready for my anti-climactic day)!

So, now I wait! I got an email from Lydia in Athens this morning that everyone is doing fine, they are just saddened by what's going on. So - I'll get there when I get there. And right now, I am going to watch The Office. :)

craft night

Those two words usually send me into a cold sweat - sometimes I think I am missing that "creative" gene. :) Tonight at a going-away party, Dana and Kristin (the lovely hostesses) had the guests each make a scrapbook page, complete with a photo of me and them. I was in a LOT of photos tonight, eesh. So here are some of the party guests. I contemplated changing outfits midway through the night, or else making all the guests wear the same shirt for the photos for uniformity, but the idea didn't fly. I have two full days left! That is not very many!

Have fun and feel loved!

(I am actually writing thank you notes right now, which is how I can justify blogging when I am leaving the country in 4 days and have many things to do.)

As I was driving to a little goodbye shindig last night, a really low-key dinner with some close friends, I was feeling a little stressed out. I'd just had a looooong phone conversation with an airline, was a little overwhelmed at some software stuff that I am trying to get onto my computer, and was just trying to de-stress myself in the car from that "go-go-go" feeling I had had all day. When you get that way, it's hard not to see even these special events with friends as another thing for your "to-do" list.

I was nearing my exit when I got a text from a friend that said "Have fun tonight and feel loved!" That stopped me in my tracks. (Well, not literally; I was driving on a busy road.) That is the purpose of these times! Why is it so hard to "feel loved"? This is not a thing to check off my list; it is a time where my friends can show me that they love me and are going to miss me (and I them)! It no longer became a thing of stress but a time for me to relax away from the tasks to do and let them love me. :) And they did.

Stop 1 on the Farewell Tour

I had a lovely dinner tonight with these dear friends...

Tomorrow on to the rest of the to-do list, and laundry, and preliminary packing to get an idea of what exactly I can cram into 3 suitcases that I will want for the next year.

steps

I sold my car! Eek! It took approximately one day. I guess there is always a market for Honda Accords. I elected to sell it rather than have to park it somewhere for at least a year. This feels like a huge step to me, for some reason it is an even bigger deal to me than when I bought my plane ticket. :)

.

For everyone who has asked me over the last couple months if I had a place to stay all lined up when I got to Athens, uh...I lied. Not really LIED, but I answered in the affirmative, in faith. :) I knew it would work out, even though I didn't exactly know what it would look like yet. Until yesterday. So typical of Greece, things have indeed worked out, but at almost the last possible minute. Pepie emailed yesterday with two options: rent a room in her neighbor's 2nd apartment, or rent a furnished studio several blocks away.

I chose the room in the apartment...Pepie's neighbor Lydia (go figure!) and her husband rented the apartment below theirs so Lydia can teach music lessons there in the afternoon, starting in January. I can stay as short or as long as I need, until I find a place of my own. If I stay past January I'll have company a few hours a day. They are Christians, and they have three young boys. I like this option because there will be people around, something important when I first arrive I think. And it's quite cheap...another huge benefit. And they are Greek (but speak English), so I can practice!

.

I have five more days...

back

Arrived back in the sprawling metropolis of the greater LA area this evening. I cannot believe how fast ten days in Seattle went. Too fast. It was great to be with family, and sad to leave, knowing it was the last time we'd be together for awhile. Boohoo.

It's hard not to start disconnecting from people and things here. I have a long to-do list for this last week of being in the States, and part of me would just focus on that and not much else. It's weird knowing you're leaving, that everyone else's lives will go on as normal without you, and the hole you leave behind will soon be filled with other things. I am tempted to withdraw and begin that "cutting off" process now, since in many ways it feels inevitable. I am challenged to engage, spend time, and still be present here.

9 days!

T minus 14 days

Let the countdown begin, I suppose!

I had a dentist appointment today that was so much more relaxing than yesterday's massage. But, I can still turn my head all the way to both sides, which is a plus!

Happy Thanksgiving!

home, for today anyway

It doesn't really feel this week like I'm moving anywhere across the world; I'm just hanging out here in Seattle (and Portland, as it were) visiting family and friends like there's nothing out of the ordinary coming up in my life. Happy Thanksgiving week! :)

Kristin & James (courtesy of facebook, thanks!) :)

Yesterday I drove down to Portland to spend the day with Kristin, one of my longest-running friendships (from SPU ~ going on 11 years!), and one of my dearest friends. (Not to be confused with roommate Kristin, who I also love, incidentally.) Kristin and her husband James have been such a support to me on this journey to figuring life out, and their faithful love and prayers have been really uplifting to me over the years. Especially now. Kristin and I had a great time having a long lunch, walking laps around the mall because we were too engrossed in conversation to shop, and then actually shopping. :) It was so great. Thanks for the day, girl.

Other than that, I've done a little shopping with Mom and sister, watched two James Bond movies, squeezed in a couple runs when the rain stops, met with a potential supporter, and managed to feel like all is as it always has been.

Except for the other night, when I had dinner with a family friend who happened to live in Athens for four years, and after said dinner, when I happened to have a minor (not at all minor) "what the crap am I doing" moment (longer than a moment). Some fears, unknowns, questions ... compounded by the negative-ish experience that our friend had in Greece that comes out in her conversations about it...for a good hour or two I felt dread (not doubt or uncertainty) that made me just sit in my room for awhile. Until Sandie called, having just spoken to our staff in Greece, with answers and reassurances that answered all the fears and questions in my head. And hers. :) I'll save that happy story for another post.

But for now, I'm in Seattle, trying to get as much sleep as possible, trying to see friends and enjoy family and pretend everything is the same. For now. :)

updates GAH-lore

I am not exactly sure what day it is, except it must be Tuesday because I am flying to Seattle in the morning. It is good to be moved. I'm staying with my friend Jamie & her husband Jason, in their bright yellow & white guest room. It's hard not to be happy and relaxed in this room. :) I will be here for 9 days when I come back in December, and then I'm off...up, up, and away...off I go, into the wild blue yonder...leavin' on a get plane...into the Great Unknown.

I am doing well. I thought perhaps I was still in denial because I am not really feeling anxious or stressed out or overwhelmed. Being done with moving has helped in that regard a great deal. I had some extended time to just sit and be today, and I realized that while I may not quite be "ready" - who knows if I'll ever be, I feel peace about it and I'm feeling good about this next step. Talk to me in a couple weeks and see if this feeling has lasted :) but for now, I am doing well.

Nick is doing better...I went to the hospital for a few hours again today. He has a genetic mutation that caused the pulmonary embolism suddenly. After his oral blood thinners start working and he is allowed to go home (hopefully tomorrow), he will have a couple of options: 1) take the blood thinners for a year and avoid anything that can cause cuts, bruising, internal injuries, etc. (he is very active and rides his bike everywhere; wouldn't really be able to do a lot of that stuff anymore), then take his chances after a year living a normal life but risk getting more clots, or 2) take the blood thinners for the rest of his life - no clots, but not a normal life either. Sad. The poor guy is tired of being in the hospital, obviously. There will still be lots of tests & monitoring for awhile after he goes home. It's over $3000 a day to be in there, and he's responsible for 20% which is adding up fast too. We are encouraging him to take up crocheting or opera; something non physical. :) He also enjoys being called Mutant and Clotty. We're all just hoping he can go home soon! Thanks for praying.

So tomorrow, it's up to Seattle, hopefully for some rest and good family time. I can't really believe this is all happening so fast. It's an odd transition time; I am neither here nor there, LA nor Athens, really, just in the in-between.

My friend Dana reminded me tonight: worship & serve in the waiting. I like that.

ashtray

It was a sad weekend! The fires are so bad... here is the sun from my house (from which we could see fire last night)
The ash on my car and on the street this morning... it continued to rain ash all day...Smoky Imperial Highway on an otherwise clear day:My friend Noah took this yesterday afternoon at Long Beach where he keeps his boat (some of his photos were used by one of the news sites!) ...

Yesterday afternoon sun:

And, in other news...despite the awful air quality we finished up our move today. A couple hours of trips to and from the car and you smell like a campfire...I had "kum-ba-ya" in my head all day. I filled my storage unit with the "couple" things I was going to keep as I planned to get rid of most of my belongings before I go to Greece. Well, I can always sell it when I get back if I don't want it. :)

When I wasn't singing campfire songs, I was singing "To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left," which has been in my head all week.

And then, the ultimate sad, SAD moment: the goodbye in the empty apartment.

A final farewell to the Nuthouse. I left for the last time tonight, thinking of the many memories I have here, and with Kristin, and in dear old California. It's official ~ I am homeless and jobless, a nomad until I settle in the next place, which happens to be on the other side of the world.

I have a ticket. A one-way ticket.

I am leaving on December 9.
I am moving out of my apartment this weekend.
I have a lot to do! :)

finally..........

Well, first of all, if you haven't read it in any of my other communication mediums (sheesh), I have been ok'ed to get a ticket to Athens!!! (If you don't get my Greece update emails, and want to [that's the key], let me know.) For now, you can read about it here, and I will elaborate later on the high levels of anxiety and stress that immediately overtook me. :)

I woke up today with great anticipation for my discussion with Jean and Sandie, and felt like I couldn't take hearing another "not yet" ... I know I would have managed and trusted if that was the answer, but it wasn't. Jean definitely wants my support to be higher, but we feel like it's ok to go ahead with the departure plans at this point. I have a few meetings in the next month with possible supporters and I'm just going to be praying hard. Blech - asking for money (or even implying that you need some) is no fun.

Wow. I am leaving in less than a month. I need some time to wrap my brain around that one...!! Relief, excitement, a little fear...lots of feelings in there!

**
Update on Nick: he is out of the ICU tonight, in a normal room, and in a little less pain today. Still has several days in the hospital ahead of him as they try and figure out what is going on...

the calm before the storm

I'm sitting here in my bedroom, which looks like it does for the last time ever. I slept in my own bed last night for the last time. I'll still be in the apartment for a few more days, but today all my furniture and a lot of boxes are going into storage. Boo-hoo. So I'm sitting at my desk pretending it's a normal day, enjoying the morning, trying to ignore what this place is going to look like in a few hours!

This is depressing.

Mom's here this weekend (not the depressing part) and we are packing up the apartment. It's very sad. I am actually having a really difficult time! Maybe it's partially the unknown and the fact that I don't know what's to come, but also, we have LOVED living here and I feel like all my community and friends are here. So saying goodbye to this apartment and eventually Southern California is proving to be tough for me. Part of me wants to hang all the pictures back up and unpack the boxes and never leave. I know Kristin would be happy with that idea. :)

An Ode

We are very sad to be moving out of our apartment. And leaving each other. It is very sad. At least you didn't stay up until 4 in the morning with us laughing your head off as we made this video. :)

(It may take a moment to load)

hello?

Lindy and I had a great, albeit short, weekend. I wish she had come sooner and more often! It was even a mini vacation for me too; I barely turned on my computer and didn't ever have to be anywhere. Now I am recovering as I seem to have inherited her odd sore throat/coughing/man voice sickness that doesn't affect any other part of your body. :) I am glad she came and I'm thankful to get the time with her before I leave.

Some good news...because the dollar is doing so well right now, I could get by in Greece on what I have raised! Since it's so volatile, we want to raise the rest, but I feel like I can narrow down the time I am going to leave. By Dec. 10. I'm going to Seattle for a few weeks at the end of November, and will come back and then leave. Fingers crossed. Pray that it keeps coming, and that I can work ticket stuff out!

And, happy birthday to this kid...24 today. Hott.

Travis, ball hog ~ SPU intramurals I guess?! :)

steps in the right direction...

How quickly things can shift! In the last three days, things have changed so much that I am actually being forced to wrap my head around possibly moving to Greece very soon. Imagine that!

Sunday: I spoke at Nick's church, where a woman who is leaving soon for three months in Spain offered her house to me to housesit for as long or as short as I need it. Free housing, yes please.

Monday: Unofficially (so don't quote me yet; I haven't gotten an official statement, but going off what people have told me they sent in) I hit 80% of the funds I need before I can book my plane ticket. 80%!!! (And 70% of the desired total.) We are getting there!

Tuesday: Yesterday out of the blue I was offered a short term "job" coordinating volunteers for the One Heart Campaign. This is through the Orange County Human Trafficking Task Force, which is creating a short video to be shown in 1000 churches in Orange County on the national human trafficking awareness day, January 11. I had said I could volunteer my time, but now they are going to pay me to help with the marketing and distribution. It should last about 4 weeks. I can't complain about that; in fact, a much appreciated blessing!

It seems to be the encouragement I need that things are moving in the right direction. I'm thankful today, and a little wistful too, as we plan to give our 30 days notice at our beloved apartment today and make plans for the next phase of life.

We are getting there! :)

faith wavering

Last week was a tough week. I was really hoping... praying... trusting that I would have most of my support raised by the end of September. I felt really strongly that I needed to be praying for that, and I really believed that God could do it. I had a lot of faith for it.

So when it didn't happen - in fact, there was nothing new at all on the statement I got on the 1st - I was really disappointed. And really discouraged. What am I doing?? Did I lead myself to pray for that? It seemed like I had a string of disappointing or discouraging things related to Greece, and I had a tough day. I gave myself a day to be upset about it, and decided I'd pick up the next day and keep having faith and trusting that in God's timing, I'll get there.

My faith didn't go away, and I do ultimately believe those things (and someone pointed out to me that it can take people 1-2 years to raise support, and I've raised 60% in 3 months), but I felt a little waver in my confidence last week. Earlier this week with a friend we thought of examples of people who have had so little to go on that it was so obviously God that accomplished whatever it was in their situation...one of those was Gideon in Judges 7, when God sent home almost 10,000 men from the Spring of Harod and left him 300 to fight with. (That is the picture above, Kim and I at the spring of Harod.) :)

Faith...I may never have the opportunity to develop the faith required of those Christians in countries where they are persecuted for their beliefs, or of those who have to trust for every penny or bite of food. But I have faith for this. In Romans 4, Abraham is commended for his faith. I love 4:17 which says, "He believed in God, who gives life to the dead and calls things into existence that do not exist." I believe he is doing that with this ministry in Athens. I believe he has called me there and that he wants to work. I try not to let my faith waver when things don't happen the way I think they are supposed to.

A few verses later, about Abraham, it says, "He did not waver in unbelief at God's promise, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, because he was fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. Therefore, it was credited to him as righteousness" (4:20-22). Ok, hang on. He did not waver in unbelief??? This was a man who let his wife be taken from him not once, but twice, and who had a child with Hagar because his own wife was childless. To me, that seems like a little wavering in unbelief going on!

But, centuries later, it is reported that he did not waver in unbelief in God's promise. He was fully convinced that God would perform what he said he would. This tells me that God measures faith quite a bit differently than I do!

I'm still wrestling through the repercussions of that...while it feels like my faith wavers at times, ultimately I am believing that God is at work here. What does it mean to not waver in unbelief? I am fully convinced that God is going to perform what he has said he would. But I feel like I waver. I think I am truly thankful that God's idea of faith, and his grace for us in this, is different than our own. He gives us opportunities to grow our faith, he tests it, and he increases it. To us these times might feel like wavering. We question and re-examine what we thought was true. But a true belief that he is ultimately going to do what he said he'd do is what he counts as righteousness. I hope that is the kind that I have, because I really do believe that he is going to do it. :)

plugging away...

I am speaking at a Perspectives ("on the World Christian Movement" - missions) class this week, and during the main service at a friend's church on Sunday. Yay! I need to keep finding these opportunities so I can GO!