online confession?

I saw a story on the Today Show this morning about a church in Oklahoma (LifeChurch) that has set up an online confession site: www.mysecret.tv. They interviewed the pastor, Craig Groeschel, who has a passion for changing the way church is done worldwide. It's one church with nine different locations. He has a master's degree in marketing and an MDiv.

So you go to this My Secret page and there is a disclaimer that the content should not be viewed by children under 18. Contained within are hundreds of confessions in the areas of addictions, eating disorders, pornography, stealing, abuse, lust, humiliation, double life, you name it. Click on a topic and be taken to others' deep dark secrets that they have decided to display on the internet.

"Have you experienced a victory that began with a secret confessed? A past hurt revealed? A lie exposed? We’d love to hear your story. But more importantly, thousands of other people who are struggling with the same burdens would love to hear. Your story could be another person’s hope." This is their purpose, if you will...share your sins so that others can learn and grow.

Noble. Maybe? But I have some questions. Where are we asked to confess our sin to the whole world? How useful is anonymous online confession? Where is the accountability, the connection to and responsibility for your sin? What prevents this from becoming a "freak show" website, where people can go to read messed up stories and feel better about themselves because there are people out there who are worse than they are? Is this really more than a commentary on our society's lost sense of sin?

I'm not saying it's all bad, or all good, I am just very intrigued at this new way of being able to feel better about ourselves. The pastor's thought is that it is a first step for those who aren't close to confession, some kind of connection to a church. I watched the video on the front page and I actually appreciated his comments on confessing to God rather than a computer, and he presented a clear picture of confession and forgiveness, what it means to be “made new.” Originally the site was set up as a response to a sermon series for their church, and it has caught attention in the whole country. I'd be very curious to hear your thoughts, and since no one ever comments on here, email me instead if you want. :)

kung fu fighting

I tried a karate kick at work today to see how my knee would fare. Wearing a skirt even. Something popped, ouch. :) But the good news is, I can bike, and the better news is, it didn't hurt so much today, so if I don't feel anything tomorrow I might try to run. (Maybe.) It seems that my kickboxing career was very short-lived. One day was enough apparently. Yay

the weekend is over...

Got to spend some time with some good friends this weekend. It was great to catch up with Kristin and James on their way through LA to Corvallis, Oregon, where James has a new job.

They are expecting their first baby in December sometime...

Also got in some golfing this weekend. What great weather we had this weekend! (I realize how weird I am to like golf, I even have my own clubs. I am not really sure why. I think I just like to drive the cart around.) The views from the course:
And finally, this afternoon I got a chance to revisit my old Sunday tradition of a few hours of solitude at a park. I haven't done this since I moved, so it was so good to find a new park in the area and spend some time there. Things become a lot more clear away from the busyness of life, and it's there I can often find the passion or excitement that may be missing. A.W. Tozer wrote about our generation of machines, technology, and efficiency: "We read our chapter, have our short devotions and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar." Avoiding this "bankruptcy" for me requires a block of several hours, often. I hope for this kind of time once a week, while during the week my "short devotions" do manage to play a role...it's hard to carve out time!!! but boy do I need it, more than anything else I could be doing in those hours. (I took some pictures there too but they aren't uploading right now...maybe another time.)

My knee is still giving me issues. Tried out the bike today at the gym, felt fine on that. Don't feel good about running yet, since it hurts when I put weight on it. Weird...feels like it's the actual joint or right behind the kneecap or something. I suppose my kickboxing class is out too. :) I am not a fan of having an "injury" right now--especially since I don't even know what I did to cause it!!

new hair :)

No more blonde rockstar ends! :)

On a very unhappy note, I seem to have tweaked my knee! I can't really even walk very well, let alone run, and I haven't tried the bike yet. :( I can't even pinpoint what I did since it just randomly started hurting yesterday and by last night felt like something had popped or it had hyperextended or something...I keep trying to shake it out like something just needs to pop back into place but no luck. I don't do very well with "rest," forced or not. I'm giving it a day or two.

Preparation and Resolution

I took my Joshua lesson notes to the gym this morning to work on the message a bit and hopefully find some inspiration (not necessarily at the gym; just with more thinking and praying through the stuff).

I set my bike at 30 minutes on hills and started pedaling away. Above me the TV was set on TBS and Walker Texas Ranger was on. :) I've never watched a complete episode of a Chuck Norris martial arts save the world like a true hero program, but my old roommate was mildly obsessed with him (ok--he wanted to BE him, I'm quite sure). Every once in awhile I glanced up to make sure Chuck and his blonde rescuee were still doing ok.

Then came the fight scenes (the blonde was safely tucked away in the tree branches, hidden from the world until her sneeze gave her away to the bad guys! Silly lady). Conveniently, Chuck (Walker? Texas Ranger?) was dressed in perfect martial arts friendly attire. I rolled my eyes. Isn't he ALWAYS conveniently dressed in perfect marial arts friendly attire? He is always so prepared. A bad guy comes within 15 feet and he's in position - crouching, hands up, ready to slice and dice.

He's always so prepared...hmmmm...!!! That is really what Joshua 1 is about, preparation. It's God's instructions to Joshua in order to be successful at what he is setting out to do: claim the Promised Land. But these instructions are not military instructions, they are SPIRITUAL instructions. Joshua's success is directly related to his obedience and his relationship with God. Be strong and VERY courageous, God says, which in the Hebrew gives a sense of being "resolute," or set in purpose, resolved or determined. Why should he need to be these things? Because the next instructions (v. 7-8) give us the key to Joshua's success: meditating on and being obedient to the book of the law.

Our spiritual life, like anything, takes resolution, purpose, and preparation. We get out what we put into it. Joshua needed a resoluteness to not turn from the law, to meditate on it day and night, and to carefully do everything in it. Like Walker Texas Ranger (sorry, bear with me), who has resolved to study his discipline and practice his form in order to be prepared for anything, like an athlete who must resolve (and it really is resolve!) to do those workouts, practice, push hard, or a musician who practices several hours a day -- it takes a decision to excel, plenty of preparation, and plenty of discipline. God was requiring this of Joshua, and he requires it of us in our spiritual lives.

Want to be in better shape? Exercise more. Want to be a guitar phenom? (I do, darn it!) Practice through the pain and build up those callouses and get nimble fingers. Want to be Walker Texas Ranger? Sorry, there is no one like Walker Texas Ranger. But want to be "successful" in your spiritual life, in tune with God, and having the kind of prosperity that HE desires for your life? Press in. Resolve to do what it takes: meditation, obedience, consistent faithfulness to the word, discipline.

I believe Chuck rescued the ditzy blonde and everything turned out ok. And in the process he gave me a little reminder that I can apply to my lesson and even the things that I spend my time on day in and day out. Walker Texas Ranger really does save the day. :)

I am teaching on Thursday. It’s a doozy of a week, I just turned in a big 15-page paper/exegetical project on Daniel 3 this morning that I’ve been working on, I have a historical theology test tomorrow, some Athanasius and Augustine to be reading, and then Joshua 1 on Thursday.

The biggest deal for me is teaching. Somehow I feel like I’ve made it through a year of this “tricking” everyone into believing that I can kind of teach but I still don’t really know how, nor do I feel particularly good at it. Working on my message last night was exciting, with all the information I have gleaned about the text and the insights I’ve found, and then disheartening, as I realized I had a huge pile of details and no coherent “message.” Not to mention fancy little illustrations or stories…not my strong point.

I’m feeling discouraged.

old house, new house

Our old treehouse

My parents' house sold this weekend, after less than a week on the market. My dad built this house before I was born! My lifetime saw the building of the sports court in front, and the addition of a couple bedrooms (including mine) and an office on the left...













I grew up here, in its various colors, and throughout my life I called 4 of the 5 bedrooms mine at some point. :)

Here is the new house they bought, the model anyway...major downsizing, but Mom's excited I think. Theirs isn't quite finished yet. They move mid-October.













I was home in June for my sister's wedding, and at one point I realized that that was the last time I would be staying in the house. When I go home for Christmas, it will be to the new house. I've never known a "home" besides that house, so it will be different! The neighborhood is being majorly upgraded; houses that were built in the 70s are being torn down and replaced by weird looking multi-million dollar homes. We can't help but wonder if our old house will remain intact...hopefully at least until December so I can drive by and get weird sad reminiscent and mopey feelings out of it. :)

the heavens declare...

Sunset on the way to Bible Study tonight, taken with my phone (right on Whittier Blvd!)...just gorgeous! :)

homecoming!

This is one of my best friends from SPU, Kristin, who married a Kiwi (James) who stole her away to New Zealand not too long ago. James just got a job in Oregon and they are coming home!! (Well, her home anyway...) They will pass through LA for a few days next weekend and I am oh so very excited to see them. Hi Kristin! :)

prayers answered

It was our first night of our Joshua Bible Study tonight. I was feeling a bit apprehensive because our group was to be twice as large as last year's, and we really had a cohesiveness and intimacy last year; all the girls grew really close. Part of me was excited to bring in new people and start fresh and make new relationships, and part of me (still) misses that tight group from last year (in actuality we only stopped meeting formally a few weeks ago!).

We had 26 people sign up (versus our 9-10 regulars last year). A bit of a challenge in Dana's living room, to say the least. :) And then there is the question of small groups...we didn't need them before; we were a small group. But you can't foster community and intimacy in a large group without some kind of small group setting. And then you miss out on fellowship with those who aren't in your small group...and how to divide those who know each other well and those of different ages, etc. ... I am torn.

Well, 20 ladies showed up tonight; about 2/3 were my age (20s & 30s), then the rest were near their 50s or older. I liked the mix. And there were enough older ladies that I think they will feel comfortable staying (unlike last year). :) Tonight went SO WELL. I am so encouraged! Great interaction, laughter, and whole group discussion. The size seemed really manageable and still really intimate because the setting is still a living room! I feel excited again, excited to teach next week. I actually did my "homework" this week and I really enjoyed it! Not writing the whole thing this year means that I can still go through it and learn from it myself. And Suzie did a great job of teaching our intro lesson. The group seems like it will gel really well. Praise God!

I teach next week on Joshua 1. I will focus on Joshua's new role in light of Moses' absence, the repeated exhortation to Joshua to be strong and courageous (perhaps because he wasn't strong or courageous?), faithfulness, and obedience...I am quite thankful that I am excited again and looking forward to a new year of this.

no comment...

no joke

I think I have tendonitis in my pointer finger from scrolling with my mouse.

On the table in the kitchen today at work:
Chocolate chip cookies
One chocolate cake
One coconut cake
A box of donuts
A veggie tray. Now this cancels all the other things out right?

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a printout of what I'm going to be doing with my life. I don't need details, just a very bare bones outline would suffice. That way I can better plan the things I need to be involved in now, make easier decisions about what are and are not useful ways to spend my time, know who I need to be in relationship with, what kind of work experience I need, what kind of degree I should be getting, what language(s) to learn and what other training I might need. :) Uh huh. And that's exactly why I DON'T know!

And no, I did not eat any of that junk food on the table.