instant (almost) gratification

When you work hard at something, you see results. I am amazed at the running improvements I've seen only in the last month. Just a few times of running speed intervals and I am now running below a 9 minute mile regularly. I think our bodies can do more than we think, and quicker than we think. If you push through the discomfort just a few times, it goes away and becomes the new normal. :) Encouraging to know we are capable of quite a bit.

I am going to bed now--according to my new schedule I am supposed to be in bed in 20 minutes. So I must turn off my puter, put down my Historical Theology notes (but they are so CAPTIVATING!) and get in bed. Nighty night

Tiiiiiiime, it's on your side...

I am feeling the need to manage my time effectively. :) Set limits, goals, schedules. Make sure I am giving attention and priority to the right things. I've narrowed it down to 5 things that are on my list, in no particular order (except maybe the first one):
1. God. Duh. In the rush of school, moving, new schedules, this is getting shuffled around. I need more stability... today I set my alarm an hour earlier, pushed snooze for 38 minutes of it, and had 20 minutes left over to read and pray. Hmm. I need to do this in the morning, so I need to go to bed on time, which leads to another important thing-
2. Sleep. Not getting enough. This results from going to bed too late and general insomnia, and results in being tired all the time and being late in the morning. I need to make a routine at night, like finishing up everything by 10, and winding down, being in bed by 11. Hopefully the two hours it takes me to fall asleep will shorten if my body gets used to a routine (!?!?!). Go to bed on time, get up on time, and get enough sleep in there to function properly.
3. Homework. An obvious priority this time of year. My goal for this is to make my day off, Friday, study day, 9 to 5. (Or, maybe 10 to 5. :) That whole sleep thing...) With luck, I can get most of my stuff done and have the rest of the weekend to relax, and spend doing the other four things on this list, and also not be staying up late during the week studying.
4. Exercise. This is already a priority, and it might be a little higher on the list than it should be. (Though it is still in my top 5.) I need to find a routine for this as well, so that it doesn't take away from other areas.
5. Relationships. I've just moved and suddenly I am closer to most of my social life. :) It's great, and I want to make relationships and community a priority, with old friends and new. Often I am bad at corresponding or keeping in touch with people because I let everything else get in the way. How to make this a healthy priority without taking away from or getting run over by other important commitments? This may be new ground for me, sometimes I am all or nothing in this category. I will need to set boundaries for sure in spending time with people during the week, but this is also something I need to be intentional about, since I can swing the other way and become a recluse. :) I want to set out time this semester for just being with people.
So there's my top five. I think I will make a weekly schedule for myself and do my best to stick to it, including some time to let myself be spontaneous. ;) If I actually post this and it's out there, perhaps it will remind me what is important.

Back to the Bear

This is our theme for our Joshua Study that starts in a couple weeks. This weekend's teacher's retreat in Big Bear was a great time of brainstorming and collective thinking through the main themes and ideas of the book. "Be strong and courageous," faithfulness, obedience, God's presence and promises fulfilled. The idea of "success" and "prosperity" in God's eyes versus what it looks like in our culture, society, and mindset. How to get there in the proper way (meditation, obedience) rather than making it our primary aim.

Nice location, too :)

Suzie, my fellow single, childless buddy. :) (Sheesh. That's all.)

I hate my bed!

Why is sleep so hard to come by??? Argh...

Back with a (very rude!) Bang

Wasn't I JUST sitting in my Life of Christ class, freezing my butt off in the air conditioning while everyone else frolicked outside in the nice summer afternoon sun??? Didn't that class end only DAYS ago???

Alas, here I am again, in class. Had Historical Theology tonight, Daniel & Revelation tomorrow. Good classes but heavy workload in each. I was just getting used to the feeling of not having any kind of homework or responsibilities to tend to each night--(enter sound of record being screeched to a stop, or whatever it is that makes that noise in the movies) but here we go again. Our Joshua study starts in a few weeks too, looking forward to helping teach that (and praise God--the curriculum is DONE! No more writing chapters three days before they're supposed to be handed out!!) :)

Feeling more relaxed and content this week...it's good to have people around, be busy at work, and finally start to feel settled in the apartment. (Not to mention the 8 minute drive to work that has replaced my 45+ minute drive!)

Now why am I still up? I have an 8am class. Time for bed...hopefully for sleep!

zzzzzzzzz

You know the feeling ... headache ... permascowl ... groggy ... slow ... droopy, puffy eyelids ...

I can't sleep!!! Over a week now. I do just fine in the daytime, while I'm driving, for example, or on my desk at work, or while I'm praying in my chair in my room. But night time? The time you're SUPPOSED to be sleeping? Nope.

In the daylight I look over at my bed, a mixture of wistful longing and dread. Knowing that when night falls it becomes the Battleground. Me versus twisted sheets, stray thoughts, and dark shadows. With a headache to greet the morning.

It will pass...perhaps another week or so, that's what's normal. Cause: unknown. Frequency: maybe twice a year. Warning signs: this time...a move, lowly mood, and I don't know what else. Go away, please.

"I'm not lazy...I just really don't care."

Great, it just took me an hour & 20 to get home from Long Beach...at 1 am!! Construction...grr...

1. Ran 8 miles this evening, new record: 1:12:11. That was probably my best run ever. Smooth and felt great. Now I'm a little stiff. :)
2. I didn't think I was interested, but I saw "World Trade Center" tonight anyway. I cried. There are a lot of things to overwhelm you, not the least of which is the risks people will take to help others.
3. Justin got married today.
4. I've been feeling depressed or something this week and I just don't feel like writing depressing blogs. ok. :)

P.S. The title is a movie quote...(guess from where?)...and only partially descriptive of my attitude. ;)

P.P.S. I don't think my mood this week has anything to do with #3... 4 comes after 3 but the two are not related. Just had to say. :)

reset

I have been on the phone and computer for three days in a row with the electricity company, phone company, finding a refrigerator (I still don't have one of those--do you??) registering for classes and ordering books, coordinating people and uhauls for moving...blah blah blah.

However...I am done packing. I have slept in all week. I have read two entire books. I went sailing. I took naps. I ran the Fullerton Loop. I am still not excited to go back to work but hopefully by Monday I will at least be neutral. :) The new 5 minute commute will help! I needed a week away from work without any school or other work to think about, to kind of reset, recharge, whatever...I've been feeling a little dry and disinterested in just about every area of life. So I hope this week will ultimately have that result. And then school starts in a week and a half.




Plenty of this this week...I think I've caught a disease!!

M.I.A.

I'm on "vacation" and I haven't felt like blogging. :) Sorry. Maybe I will post some pics from sailing earlier this week.

8 miles

N. and I ran 8 miles the other night, and broke my previous fastest time, finishing in 1:16:38. Woo hoo! I didn't feel my best, so I know I can do even better. Deciding which kind of training I want to be doing: speed or distance? My previous thoughts on running a half marathon are still about how I feel...would like to do one just to do it, but not sure that's best for my knees in the long run... Training to run faster is fun and new, I've never run this way before.

Mom

Mom and Travis @ Lindy's wedding...I love this pic of both of them; I guess he's pretty funny. :)












Only my mom would come spend a week in LA to help me pack. Help me with $$, take me shopping, pack box after box, dig through all my stuff to help me figure out what to keep and what to discard, co-exist with anti-AC roommates, clean out my car and take it in for service. And pretend she likes it. :) Thank you, and I love you.

Packing

I haven't lived in my pretty house for even two years; not quite long enough to feel major upheaval as I pack and move, but still moving is significant and represents change. For me I think it means good change, as far as living closer to work and school, but also sad change, as I have grown to love and feel a part of this community of people I live with!

One of my roommates said to me the other day, "I'm old enough to know that people don't stay in touch very well when they move." I laughed at the time, that she would be "old enough" to know something like that. But I guess, when you are young, high school or college or whenever your first major changes begin to happen, you have all the intentions in the world to remain best friends forever with your group of friends. In college my friends and I assumed (joking, but wishing) we would all live in the same cul-de-sac and raise our kids together and I'm sure our kids would have intermarried and we would have become some sort of unhealthy religious commune. :)

In reality, I think I am still friends with one person from high school, and two or three people from college. It just never happens the way you plan. They are dear friends that are never replaced, who you have history with and who know you in ways that only longevity and journeying together can provide, yet they are few in number; new ones come along that know you differently, and know the new person you have grown into, who share current struggles and thoughts and areas of growth.

I'm alarmed at how easy it is to move into another stage of life and eventually lose all contact with the previous one. What makes ties strong enough that they withstand years and moves and major life events?

Today my mom and I will continue to pack up my belongings as I look forward to my new home. I have every good intention of staying in touch and visiting and sharing life with my current roommates; yet packing, and leaving, feels impersonal and as if I am cutting all ties. I am not the best at staying in touch; I let myself get too busy and preoccupied with current events. But I do hope that my flurry of packing and leaving is not the end of my time here.