What about getting married???

If I had a dime for every time I've been asked this in the last couple of months, I'd have ... 40 cents.

Still, that's a lot, don't you think? When something like that hasn't really been on my mind and obviously hasn't really shaped the direction of my life thus far (so why should it now)?

I feel totally self conscious writing about this and putting it on the World Wide Web, but I had a great lunch yesterday with a girl I met at school who is in her 30s, single, and who recently spent 3 years in India. It was a really encouraging and helpful time for me, talking about logistics and specific things to focus on in prayer and how to keep myself from burning out or being overwhelmed or discouraged by the life I'll be entrenched in in Athens. We also talked about being single overseas.

I've never wrestled with this issue much. I've never wanted to be that girl who pines away or only wants a wedding in life or talks about marriage and relationships all the time. I think God has accomplished a lot in my life with my being single, including going to Greece. I like being self-sufficient and I'm proud of the things I've accomplished while on my own. My friend reminded me though that these "values" of being autonomous and independent, while not negative in themselves, are not biblical in the context of relationships. That playing into that "I don't need anyone" place where individual strength is wrongly emphasized is not how it's meant to be.

As I've learned over the last few months, underneath the external image I have of independence and self-reliance is a bit of a lack of faith and self-protection against disappointment. I realized a few months ago that it is easier for me to trust God in every other area of my life...even in his sending me overseas...than in the area of marriage. I've been challenged about this by a few people over the summer.

I feel ridiculous writing about this. I have a hard time when people have these conversations all the time. But I've been realizing that my view of God in this area is warped. I'm trusting him and asking boldly for him to meet financial and other needs as I prepare to move to Greece, and if it doesn't happen, I'll trust his plan for whatever does happen. Shouldn't it be the same in that area? It's not like it's a prize for those who are particularly deserving (marriage). I guess it's really a gift that he desires to give to people who he created to desire it and have needs met by it. I should have the same kind of trust for that that I do for support and everything else that I have faith for.

I better stop writing now before I make myself sick. :) I'm going to Greece, and I don't see that as giving up on anything. I think God can answer that question however he wants (the title question), wherever I am, whenever he wants. Whether or not I am as concerned with it as everyone else is. :)