Winter to summer.... (my spider tale)

Winter gives way to summer...and millipedes give way to spiders. I'll take the millipedes crunching under my feet, crawling through my sheets, and covering any surface during wet weather to this, thank you very much. Any day.

Winter had me grossed out on a daily basis because of those nasty things. They are everywhere, in everyone's homes, on the ceiling, on the sidewalks, in the bathtub. I was so happy to see them fade to nonexistence in the warmer weather that spring brought. Yet, as we are now in summer, I am dismayed and horrified to see that the numbers of large, disgusting spiders has exponentially increased.

Particularly in my yard.

The other night at a friend's house for dinner, we sat on the patio outside and watched a big one spin its gargantuan web right in front of us. Fascinating...from a distance. There is one in Andrew's driveway, attached to some branches, that is as big as my palm and expecting babies with the nasty white pouch that has been hanging out in its web, undisturbed (!?!), for weeks. And then there is my yard.

Our friendly neighborhood spiders spin their webs at dusk every day, and by morning they have packed them all up to wait out the daylight in hiding. My nightly walk from the car to the front porch has become quite treacherous of late. I have developed a crazy arm-flailing, karate-chopping, bag-swinging walk to get myself safely to shelter each night. I no longer care what the neighbors think. These suckers are nasty and I am NOT getting their webs on me (the strands of which are, by the way, thicker than the coarsest hairs on my head). Once they choose a place, they are likely to rebuild their webs in the same location for several nights.

I've been successful so far. A few times I've seen the spider resting in the center of its web before I walked into it, and thankfully those were nights Andrew was bringing me home so he took care of it. But tonight it was just me. Me vs. the spider. That one spider who decided to spin its web right across the stairs, blocking my way to the front door.

I froze there for awhile, completely uncertain what to do. I was unarmed; my purse was not going to be sacrificed for this one, so blatantly standing between me and safety (not to mention my bed). My flailing got me only so far, tearing down some peripheral strands. A few flimsy sticks and long pieces of grass thrown in that direction only skimmed the edge or lodged themselves in the sticky web. I was sweating bullets by then; my ammunition was not even fazing the thing and I was certain I felt webs and spiders all over me.

Just as I was about to surrender defeat and go sleep in the car, I thought to check in the boot (aka trunk; it's an Australian car so it has a boot rather than a trunk, as I see it) of the car. There I found the long rainbow umbrella that would be my savior.

I seriously poked and prodded and threw stuff until the entire web was gone, and yet still that horrible beast dangled there on its final strand of web, hanging down face level right in the middle of the steps. I waved the umbrella around it for awhile, but still it dangled, clearly ready to throw itself in attack at anyone who tried to pass. Finally I whacked it with the umbrella and watched it scurry up to the roof overhanging the steps. My flailing ritual carried me to the door, and I was soon safely inside.

Until tomorrow night...............

[Note: if you need to be reminded of what I'm dealing with, click here.]