Who knows how to have fun wherever they go??

foretaste? & some highlights

If you haven't figured it out, I'm in New York. Kristin and I booked some tickets a couple months ago with frequent flyer miles and here we are! We're staying in a little brownstone on the upper east side, near Central Park. In only a few days we have become quite proficient at the subway system, and can I say, I LOVE THE SUBWAY SYSTEM. We can get ourselves anywhere in Manhattan within 15-20 minutes. Sunday we got ourselves to Brooklyn and down to Coney Island. (We went to the Brooklyn Tabernacle for church today - the choir was fab and Jim Cymbala was...well, I was really tired from not enough sleep this whole week, so if I weren't struggling to keep my eyes open...I'm sure he was great!)Coney Island

Being here has given me very mixed feelings about the fact that my move to Athens could be very near (a little over a month). On one hand, it's been exciting to be in the city, figure out transportation, feel like I am conquering the uncertain and growing more confident. I know after a couple weeks in Athens I'll be feeling more comfortable with my surroundings, like I have after only a couple days here. It's also crazy how alone you can feel with a huge city bustling all around you. People come and go, rush and hurry, and at times it can seem hard to slow down and be part of a community or make friendships.

We have done so much in the last couple days, we can cross nearly everything off our list. I will have to get to some of those in a later post. We have also partaken in things that weren't on our list...like this huge beacon, calling Kristin home:

Or this... First, have you seen stories of the world's shortest man? When he met the woman with the world's longest legs?

(Earlier this week, in London - AP photo)

(Do not get me started on how disturbed I am by any 20 year old male standing under a girl wearing a skirt! Whose idea was that!?!?) Anyway, the other day we were coming out of the NYC library, and there was a huge ruckus on the steps below us. A big crowd was gathering, and people were taking pictures, like the paparazzi. Well, it was this little guy...grasping the hand of his "attractive female escort," (said the news story), not because he was shy or intimidated or as I was prone to think, being exploited!, but because "he has a thing for the ladies."

Outside the NYC public library

Now does the picture of the long legged girl disturb you any more? His brother in law tells reporters that he likes the attention. And that he has a girlfriend back home. This was Kristin's highlight of that day, by the way. Kristin, who made us stop at all the weirdest roadside attractions on our Grand Canyon trip last year. (Sacred white buffalo, anyone?)

She is a little bit of a fruitcake,

and that is why I will miss her.

Where in the world is Kelsey?

More to come!

swimming is not that bad, as it turns out

Aside from the getting wet thing, it can be quite refreshing.

I swam my half mile today without my watch. I discovered that I did not in fact throw out my goggles. I should have. True to form, they leaked during my warmup lap. To avoid this, I adjusted the straps and resuctioned the eye parts (that is the technical name), and by my 10th or 12th lap I was willing myself to hurry up and finish because my eyes were about to bug out of my head and I was sure blood vessels were about to burst on my delicate under-eye skin. Plus it just really HURT! I think I still have circles around my eyes from the suctioning.

In truth, I blame it on my face. I have never had much luck with goggles, expensive or inexpensive. I think I have a small face. I should try the children's sizes. Except I don't suppose they would fit around my head then. Usually I do fine, after a couple of adjustments after each of my first few laps. It doesn't work that way in a race, unfortunately. Whatever shall I do?

The swimming part was good, though. It felt good to be in the pool again, actually. I'll be fine for next Saturday. A little slow, but fine. Provided I can have several warmup laps for goggle adjustments.

Remember this lovely picture?

That was two or three pairs of goggles ago. They worked all right. I broke them.

characteristics of a trafficking victim

I'm often asked how girls get lured into sex trafficking situations, and why they haven't heard of what could happen to them, why they aren't wary of people offering too-good-to-be-true overseas jobs. We assume they are not very smart, or uneducated and naive. This can be. However, many of them are some of the strongest, most driven, intelligent women I've ever come across. They are the women who are brave enough, motivated and tough enough to get themselves out of impoverished life curcumstances. They may have heard the stories, but they think that they can handle themselves, get themselves out of a tough situation, or that that won't happen to them.

I posted this on my Greece blog, but thought I would copy it here too. This is Sandie's (Lydia director) take:

What do traffickers look for?

Beauty is only one feature they are looking for.

They are looking for girls who want out – the recruiters want an easy victim.

They choose people who are dissatisfied and perhaps are smarter than average and want to better themselves. Even though these girls may be good students – they will let themselves believe the lie because they are desperate to escape the poverty and LACK of opportunity – they will risk everything believing that THIS is their ONE opportunity. It will be different for them.

This age group does not have a sense of foreboding. Traditionally we have sent our YOUNG men off to war and they are often eager to go – until they learn firsthand what it really is. Our young men are huge risk takers – they will drive fast and run fast and jump out of airplanes – they have a certain sense of immortality. I believe there is a similar root in girls at this age. In their optimism they are out to conquer the world. We have many folk heroes who are cut from the same cloth. The problem is that there were thousands and maybe millions who DIDN’T make it.
Some of these girls know that they may be placed in compromising situations – but they feel confident that they can handle themselves. They do not understand the reality – that their autonomy will be completely taken from them. They will become dependent on the very people who have stolen their dignity. They begin to have a relationship much like a hostage – they actually look to their keeper for the basics of survival. When drugs are introduced the compliancy is accomplished, efforts at escape almost removed.

For many, when the realization of their situation hits it is immediately replaced by hopelessness, effectively removing any further effort to escape.

do it

I'm pretty sure I threw away my goggles after my last triathlon in June. I don't particularly care for swimming, and I determined never to do it again. Plus, they filled up with water immediately upon entering the contaminated stink hole magical lagoon at Disneyland. Michael Phelps called, wants his leaky goggles back.

But through my matchless motivational skills, I have already nearly convinced at least 3-4 friends, plus myself, to do this "Aqua Run" sponsored by Oasis USA in a couple of weeks. It's fine with me that we won't be biking, frankly, because it takes too long and road biking is boring. (Listen to me, why do I even do triathlons?? I really do think they are fun.) A quick swim and a quick run, raising money for victims of human trafficking, and it's 10 minutes from my house. Of COURSE I am going to do it! :)

So, pop into your local Target and pick up some cheap goggles, because if I've even heard a rumor that you know how to run, I'm going to be calling. :)

garment district: behind the scenes

I guess it's technically now called the "Fashion District." Santee Alley, cheap knockoffs, and garment factories gallore. Ruben and I spent the day down there today.

Frequently you hear on the news of someone escaping from one of those garment factories down there where they were made to work 18 hours a day and had to sleep at their work station, never permitted to leave. That is human trafficking, by definition. Today we were just kind of observing, noting, looking around (and I bought a bag, don't tell my boss!!).

We went inside a couple of the factories. You know, there are so many places I would never have thought to just walk into before. I thought, I have no business in there, and They would probably not let me in anyway. I've never been one of those people to just do something I'm unsure about, with the mentality that if I'm not supposed to be there, someone will tell me. I just don't even try.

Well, who knew, you can just walk right up the stairs and find floor after floor after floor of hundreds of people, the clack clack clack of sewing machines, racks and racks of uniforms or bedding or sequined teenybopper shirts (who says "teenybopper"??). I was amazed at the sheer magnitude of human beings inside those hot, loud, run down buildings. One of them had 9 floors, each floor had at least 15 different rental spaces ("suites"), and each space (run by different managers or companies) had 15-30 people inside, sometimes more, bent over sewing machines. As many men as women man the machines. The machines are loud and there are few voices. English is nowhere to be heard.

(I didn't take this)

We caught a guy coming down an elevator, done for the day, and Ruben began a conversation with him. (Side note: I think Ruben has this anointing on him to get people to share things with him. The witch doctor in MacArthur Park. The guys pushing the ice cream carts. Countless others who have opened up and talked to him like he was their brother. He has this gift of establishing instant rapport with people, especially in the latino community. His own family story is nuts: he grew up in East LA in a family involved in drug trafficking, prostitution, and gangs. His uncle brought women up from Mexico to work in prostitution and his aunt was a part of that industry. We've driven through his old neighborhood and he pointed out the porch he used to sit on when he was a kid and a couple of LA's worst gangs were battling it out over the neighborhood. Recently a cousin of his passed away, a well-known gang member, and there were over 2000 people at his funeral, from rival gangs and law enforcement. No one could figure that one out. Ruben is the only Christian in his family, and he's a die hard. :) He's been a missionary in several countries, most recently two years in Nigeria and four years in France, where he and his wife had three kids, one right after the other. They've only been back in the States since January. Not a day passes when we aren't laughing hysterically or teasing each other about something the other just said or did. He calls me Sis or Pupusa or Lupita. Megan, his wife, and I have a lot in common too and I love hanging out with both of them.)

Ahem. Where was I? The guy coming down the elevator, the one in the Raiders shirt with the backpack on and a hat on backwards. Ruben struck up a conversation in the creaky elevator that sounded like it was going to spontaneously combust any second, and soon the guy was telling us all about the business. He makes $400 a week, but often those who cannot read or write are taken advantage of, working harder than he does for $200-250 a week. There are high production demands. There are teenagers working, often as young as 13. And then he was off, eager to head home after a busy workday.

We don't always encounter trafficking. While there are obvious labor violations, there are legit companies and hardworking people trying to make a living, with eight hour labor intensive workdays on minimum wage. There are other stories in those neighborhoods that would show up on the news if exposed, but where and how to find them is the hot question. For today, we saw both sides of the fashion district, and it was quite a fascinating study in contradiction.

ouch

I went to a lift class at the gym today. After each set of everything, the instructor made us do a set of pushups. She threw in 4 sets in a row here and there. Adding it up, I did upwards of 180 pushups today! Some on my feet, some on my knees. That has got to be cruel and unusual punishment. I can't lift my arms! :(

Update, Thursday morning...Now I also cannot walk. I am not sure why I thought I was invincible to hundreds of squats and lunges after not going to that class for a few months - that I could just pop back in and it would be fun? Poor me.

labor day...not much labor

The most laborious part of my day was my dreadful run this morning, ranking up there with The Worst Runs Ever. Where oh where did my sprightliness go? I'm much happier in my bed or on the couch these days. Zip? None. Drive? Zilch. Energy? Ha ha.

For the rest of the day, I laid out by the pool, watched Jon & Kate Plus 8, barbecued and watched a movie with some friends (I got to lay on the couch after all).

I was also going to clean out my closet and go through some stuff in my room. But I didn't. :)

Happy Labor Day!

P.S. For the record, I do still run 4-5 days a week...it's just slow and sluggish feeling and I don't care.

P.P.S. It's kind of fun to add postscripts to my blog entries.

P.P.P.S. I have been up for a little over 12 hours only and I'm totally ready for bed again! Nighty McNighters.

loving

College girls @ Big Bear in April

I had been questioning whether or not to continue helping with the college group at church as school is starting, numbers are going back up, and I'm only going to be around for a couple more months.

The answer is YES. I love them. I can't quit. :) I have tried to phase out 2 or 3 times in the last few months as the whole "a lot on my plate" thing has grown. But I just love them.

Tonight I sat with one of the girls who is going through a lot of personal & painful growth stuff, talking and praying, and was able to pray with another girl too. I'm thankful for these moments and opportunities that are continually teaching me to love and care for others. It makes me think ahead to Athens and the totally different type of women I am going to encounter there.

As I experience this love for these precious girls here, I pray that I'll be able to have the same love for the women over there. These girls here struggle with things I've struggled through, have questions about God that I can address through what I've learned in seminary and through my own wrestling. I can relate. They are, in essence, the same as me.

I do not feel that sort of love yet for these women - in pr0stitution and trafficking situations - that I'll encounter. I know nothing of their struggles on a personal level. Their questions about God - and even their life circumstances - can blow my own mind; I don't have answers as to why these things have happened to them. I can't understand with any personal experience their hatred, need to manipulate, lack of trust. I can't begin to fathom what has happened to their souls. They are not like me. I am not like them. They will be harder to love.

I struggle with that. I've long been asking for this real, deep, genuine love and compassion for them. I feel that so readily toward crying Christian college girls. :) I pray I will feel that toward hardened, hollowed women too.

P.S. If anything it would seem that my compassion level would be greater toward these exploited women - and to some extent I guess this is true. At the same time, I feel immediate effects of my love when talking and praying with and encouraging a girl in my current ministry setting. There are just some people who are harder to love; when someone doesn't trust anyone, doesn't connect with anyone (including themselves anymore), comes from a different background/experiences entirely, and cannot readily return your love or even accept it, continually giving and giving and giving love and compassion must be a struggle.

who will make our clothes?

I do have a cool job. All shootings aside, sometimes awesome opportunities come along that I just can't pass up. Yesterday was one of them!

MTV is doing this anti-exploitation and human trafficking campaign called MTV Exit. It's in collaboration with Radiohead, who made an anti-trafficking music video for their song "All I Need." MTV made a really great brochure/booklet that they are distributing at every Radiohead concert on their current tour. Yesterday we spent about three hours trying to catch 4000 people as they entered the Santa Barbara Bowl for the show..."Radiohead & MTV's anti-slavery (or "anti-human trafficking" or "anti-human slave trade" - not everyone knows what human trafficking is) campaign" and "there's a free Radiohead download inside"...trying to get the packet into as many hands as possible.

Some people are ignorant of the issue, which is fine. That's why we're out there. Many were receptive and interested. Always you have your people who are simply ignorant in general and make stupid comments or try to argue with you. And some only wanted to get in there to see Radiohead ASAP and bowled over anyone standing in their way. At first I took it personally when they wouldn't take one and muttered things like "you don't care about people" under my breath at them and punched them in the face in my head. :) Here, the top 5 responses that I heard ...

#5. That s*** doesn't happen anymore.

#4. Well, we've got to cut that out! (*punch in the face*)

#3. We still have slaves?

#2. I don't even know what you're saying right now. (that's why you need to read the brochure. *punch in the face*)

and, the "best" ...

#1. But who will make our clothes?

Really? I actually laughed at that last guy, even though it's not funny. Punch in the face!

While I work out my inner violence issues, you can look at pictures from the concert. After the people stopped trickling in, we got to go see the show. It was so great!

We didn't have seats, but our special badges got us down to the stage, right in front!

It's only ok to wear such tight red pants if your name is Thom Yorke and you're a rockstar. Seriously. Is that a European thing? Maybe I can get some when I move to Athens. Then I will put out a CD and everyone will think I have hot legs in my tapered leather suction pants.
The Dream Team of Anti - Human Trafficking Literature Distribution: (Thom was in this photo until Janell's head suddenly appeared in its place)

blog

I officially linked my Greece blog on the left, which means I guess that I have to start writing on it. :)

It was a day.

A hot one.

Some days you just go through without really noticing, and other days you go through seeing Unseen Hands all over the place.

I almost got in an accident on my way up to outreach in Hollywood today. I don't know why or how I didn't. One of those times when the cars go from 70 to 0 mph in the span of about 50 yards. My brakes locked. My tires squealed and smoked. And I ended up about a foot away from the car in front of me. Fully expecting to be hit from behind I braced myself, but they somehow pulled around me.

Walking on Vermont, Charity said suddenly, "We need to go into this hotel." We went inside and talked to an Eastern European woman at the front desk. We gave her some information on human trafficking and told her what we were doing. Then she told us of a young woman from the Ukraine who had just been staying there the night before, with a man who she said looked as if he had complete control over the woman, managed all the money, etc. She was trying to get back home but was unable to get away from the man. We gave her appropriate contact info to somehow get to the woman when they came back.

With plans to visit several clinics and another hotel on the same block, we passed a Russian mafia looking establishment (it was a restaurant). We were hungry and hot and tired, so we went in to check it out and ended up eating lunch. A few minutes later, we began hearing sirens and helicopters outside. There had been a shooting outside, right where we would have been if we didn't stop. "Is the suspect still at large?" Ruben asked one of the hundreds of thousands of officers that swarmed the block (did I mention the SWAT truck??). "The suspect is dead," was the reply. Since it was an officer-involved shooting, we were stuck for awhile as they commenced an investigation. Finally an LAPD officer took pity on us and helped us get our car out and under all the yellow tape. Wondering what could have happened if we hadn't decided to eat right then.

That is three times in one day that I am pretty sure there was some divine direction taking place. And that was all before 3:00 pm!

(P.S. I don't think the guy ended up dying...looks like he was taken to the hospital and will survive.)

MTV called

Guess who is going to see Radiohead in Santa Barbara on Thursday for FREE (actually, I'll be PAID for it)?! Oh, shoot, I just gave it away. Yes, me!

MTV called our Unity Coalition and asked for some people to come pass out flyers on human trafficking at the concert (I think more than one, actually). It was a tough decision, but I agreed to go.

I like MTV when they get involved in current events and important issues. I still have the clip on my Tivo from a Mike Huckabee event they covered earlier this year, in which Janell was interviewed. It's her 5 minutes of fame, and boy did she seize it. ;)

My job is kind of cool. :)

grants, benefits, and a little perspective

Palm trees in Hollywood

In the last couple of weeks we've heard a lot of good news about our grants and progress and performance with the Salvation Army trafficking position. Ruben and I are doing well with our outreach and training program and our grantors want to extend the grant another year, as I wrote before. Today we found out the Salvation Army has been awarded a few more big grants for human trafficking programs. It's really exciting - almost exciting enough to make me sad that I won't be around. With all the great contacts I've been making here and the success of the programs, all the people we've trained, the number of victims we've been able to help free over the last few months, the grant extensions...GAH! I'm sad to be missing out.

Yesterday Ruben met with the SA divisional social services directors about the future of the grants. Even though it's been extended, the Salvation Army has to agree to the contract, something they were hesitant about because they weren't sure they had the personnel. Along with our boss transferring to Portland and my moving to Greece, Ruben has a family with three kids to think of, and a part time job with no benefits wasn't something he was sure he'd be able to commit to for another year. The meeting yesterday had great results: because I am leaving, they are going to combine both of our positions for Ruben to make it full time for him. And because it's full time, the Army is going to give him benefits. And our branch's trafficking program will be able to continue.

Great news all around! So while I'm a little bummed about what I'm going to miss out on, I am excited to see that my leaving has allowed for the provision that Ruben's family needs! That kind of perspective adds to my conviction that I am on the right track. I like it when things work out that way.

What about getting married???

If I had a dime for every time I've been asked this in the last couple of months, I'd have ... 40 cents.

Still, that's a lot, don't you think? When something like that hasn't really been on my mind and obviously hasn't really shaped the direction of my life thus far (so why should it now)?

I feel totally self conscious writing about this and putting it on the World Wide Web, but I had a great lunch yesterday with a girl I met at school who is in her 30s, single, and who recently spent 3 years in India. It was a really encouraging and helpful time for me, talking about logistics and specific things to focus on in prayer and how to keep myself from burning out or being overwhelmed or discouraged by the life I'll be entrenched in in Athens. We also talked about being single overseas.

I've never wrestled with this issue much. I've never wanted to be that girl who pines away or only wants a wedding in life or talks about marriage and relationships all the time. I think God has accomplished a lot in my life with my being single, including going to Greece. I like being self-sufficient and I'm proud of the things I've accomplished while on my own. My friend reminded me though that these "values" of being autonomous and independent, while not negative in themselves, are not biblical in the context of relationships. That playing into that "I don't need anyone" place where individual strength is wrongly emphasized is not how it's meant to be.

As I've learned over the last few months, underneath the external image I have of independence and self-reliance is a bit of a lack of faith and self-protection against disappointment. I realized a few months ago that it is easier for me to trust God in every other area of my life...even in his sending me overseas...than in the area of marriage. I've been challenged about this by a few people over the summer.

I feel ridiculous writing about this. I have a hard time when people have these conversations all the time. But I've been realizing that my view of God in this area is warped. I'm trusting him and asking boldly for him to meet financial and other needs as I prepare to move to Greece, and if it doesn't happen, I'll trust his plan for whatever does happen. Shouldn't it be the same in that area? It's not like it's a prize for those who are particularly deserving (marriage). I guess it's really a gift that he desires to give to people who he created to desire it and have needs met by it. I should have the same kind of trust for that that I do for support and everything else that I have faith for.

I better stop writing now before I make myself sick. :) I'm going to Greece, and I don't see that as giving up on anything. I think God can answer that question however he wants (the title question), wherever I am, whenever he wants. Whether or not I am as concerned with it as everyone else is. :)

25%

As of tonight, I have a little over 25% of my monthly funds for Greece pledged.

The rest is coming, I know. :)

What should I blog about?

1. A parent of one of Janell's students told her last week that her dentist said we are now supposed to brush our teeth three times a day because of global warming.

2. I found out for certain this week that I would have a job at the Salvation Army through September 2009, if I were staying here. Our social services director left, and they need to find someone to manage the grant, and they would have asked me. Instead, they might not even renew the contract for the next year, since they're not sure how quickly they could find someone to fill the position. It's a good thing I am 100% sure about Greece. :)

3. Someone told me this week, "You are ALWAYS on vacation!" and it made me reflect on my year of jetsetting...Israel in January, Greece in March, [can I count Big Bear in April?], Seattle in July, Tahoe in August, New York next month, and then onward to Greece por siempre. (Ok, maybe not that long.) Look at me, next I'll be visiting my second home in the Hamptons on my private jet.

4. I have decided to sell my car when I go to Greece. Consequently, I have been thinking about the kind of car I will get when I come back. Is that weird?? I don't even know when I'm coming back, but I already have that portion of my American dream thought out.

5. I got 4 hours of sleep last night. Last night was also the night I clued in that we have a western time zone delay on the Olympics. Go, me. My TV says "live" the whole time! Whatever. So why do they make us stay up until 1:00 in the morning if it happened three hours ago? Not nice.

Tahoe in 5 million pictures

I am watching the Olympics, and decided to make myself an "Olympic-sized" post here...good luck! (Incidentally, earlier tonight I heard the phrase "She is the best bar worker on this American team" and guess where my mind went? Not gymnastics. I need a new field of work.)

Janell and I left Wednesday night around 8 to go to Ramesh's house (where she's staying this summer) in Auburn, near Sacramento. We left the next afternoon for Tahoe. Fittingly, we stayed in Squaw Valley, near Olympic Village.

Ramesh's uncle owns a condo here. We don't mind. :)Friday was Ramesh's birthday, 29 years young. Here's to the last year of our 20s! :) We went to explore Tahoe City and the lake in the morning.

That afternoon we ventured into the wild for a nature walk, er...hike.

We wanted to get up to the top to see a lake that's up there, but we had time constraints so had to turn around early. We had dinner reservations to celebrate the birthday girl:

We were leaving Saturday afternoon, but that morning we got back on the lake for some very fun kayaking! Here are our three boats waiting for us to get in as we looked (with a teeny tiny bit of hesitation) at the really windy and wavey waters.
Two minutes into our excursion, we had our first casualty. I had tossed the camera to Ramesh and she was turning around to take a picture and toppled right out!
She did snap this masterpiece as she fell into the lake:
It ended up being really fun. I had only kayaked tandem before, and this was actually a lot easier. We could have easily done it a few hours longer!

That afternoon before we headed back to Auburn, we got to lay by the pool for awhile. I think I needed that, it felt really relaxing (although I was a little pink after that plus kayaking). The resort had a water slide! We did take pictures, but I'm not posting photos of my friends in swimsuits on the internet today. :)

That night Ramesh's extended family threw a big Persian birthday party for her and her uncle, Hossein. (He's the one who owns the house we stayed in, and the condo in Tahoe. She's working for him up there this summer.)In typical Persian fashion...

All the girls... The night finished (late) with some Persian dancing. :)

Sunday morning we went to church with Ramesh at the Rock of Roseville...what a GREAT church! I loved it. Sushi for lunch, and then Janell and I hit the road for the long drive back to LA. Now I need about three weeks of sleep to recover. :)

(Yay for cruise control!)

Here I'm doing a cross between a persian dance and the "sprinkler"

Dancing at Ramesh's big fat Persian birthday party :)

I don't pretend to be able to dance like a Persian... Home again we are, after a long drive. We did a lot of fun things and it was a good time with the girls. A couple hours by the pool yesterday in Tahoe (and the water slide!) helped me feel a little more relaxed and "vacationed" ... and then we were up until 1 or 2 last night with the extended family and lots of persian food at a family party for Ramesh back in Roseville (near Sacramento). I'll post more pics this week!

P.S. The reason we're here...

Happy birthday to this one! :)

aaahhhh...

Janell, Ramesh, Kelsey @ Lake Tahoe

To run the cliche into the ground, because I love overused cliches, I need a vacation from my vacation. This whole "resting" thing hasn't exactly taken place, and I feel beyond exhausted tonight (skipping the jacuzzi downstairs at our resort right now to just...sit here). I don't know what would fix that...maybe like a week on the beach in Hawaii or something? ;) Where there is no kayaking to be done, no hiking, nothing. Just sitting. Reading. Laying in bed. That's about all I can muster up energy for right about now.

csec

Yesterday I sat through a training on the commerical sexual exploitation of children. (That was in San Diego; we left for Tahoe around 8pm and arrived around 3:30am...I'm a little tired today.)
I am not sure if it's my personality type or if it's bad, but usually I can keep my emotions disconnected from what I'm hearing. I'm not sure I could handle this line of work if I didn't do that. There wasn't a lot of new information for me yesterday about CSEC, I've done a few trainings before and will actually be giving one later this month. So it wasn't particularly difficult for me to sit through the conference yesterday...except for one speaker.

Milton is a former pimp. He became addicted to drugs at age 12, watched his mom get beat every night, became a gang member in his teens, and pimped his first girl at age 19. He talked about luring them as early as age 12, rapes, threats, beatings, sodomy, on and on about what he did to these girls, mostly teens. He's currently in rehab, and it kind of felt like he was up there doing his civic duty by coming and talking to us.

Anyway, that was hard for me to listen to. One girl had to get up and leave while he spoke. His presentation was calculated and matter-of-fact. I'd imagine you have to really disassociate from things like that that you've done to be able to share about them. Someone said it takes a "real man" to stand up there and admit he's done wrong. Especially to a room full of law enforcement, educator, and social service providers.

I had really mixed feelings about having him there. I've heard a lot of people who were formerly in the life speak about their past and how they got out. As a Christian, I feel like I forgive him, can even love him. But part of me - as a woman? - felt distrusting of his motives, of his rehabilitation as genuine. It was hard not to judge. He didn't even blink as he talked about the stuff he had done to women and young girls. He expressed no feeling or emotion about it. His comment about how his own daughter had "gone out there to be a ho" for a few months was deadpanned. His admission that he knows he has hurt a lot of people and is here trying to give back and make up for what he did was also emotionless.

I've talked to pimps who are still in the life with more emotion and conviction about what they're doing. This guy was hard for me to listen to; I felt a little anger, a little skeptical, and also compassion and sadness.

Commercial sexual exploitation of anyone under 18 is human trafficking. The issue is so, so sad. Hundreds of thousands of American children are sexually exploited each year. This video kind of sums up the theme of yesterday:

all aflutter

Things never really do slow down, do they?

Lots going on for work, for Greece, for fundraising, for a plethora of other things. My grand goal of starting to clean out my room and closet keeps getting pushed back week by week as other things come in and fill up the time.

Tomorrow I'm in San Diego for work all day (who doesn't love waking up at 5am to drive!?) and upon arriving home (8pm? 9?) I will get back in the car and drive to Tahoe. With any luck (!!) I'll be up for almost 24 hours! So, have a good weekend, I will be vegging, reading, and being with friends! :)

Reunification