Memorial

My grandma said that she never heard my grandpa say anything bad about ANYONE, as long as she knew him. They were married 62 years. I'm not sure I can even get through a week (a day...).

A charicature done by someone at the nursing home last year...looks just like him!

Tonight after the service we went through a big box of old pictures of my grandparents and their family (my mom's family) from the last 60+ years. I snagged a few to take home with me. It's been good to piece together different puzzle pieces of his life over the last few days.

tired

What a loooooooong day. We gallavanted around Seattle all day long like tourists. It's fun to see cousins we haven't seen in a few years. Tomorrow is the memorial service; we spent some time today talking with each other about our memories of our grandpa, realizing how we got to know this strong man in the weakest time of his life, when his illness had taken over his body. But such character and grace that he showed even at the end of his life was cultivated over a lifetime. I'm looking forward to hearing from those who his life touched tomorrow.

my widdo bwudder

Travis turned 23 today...SO OLD! (Maybe in another 7-8 years you'll catch up to how old you actually look.) :)

embracing my blackness

Enjoying the fall colors here that we don't have in Cali...

off for clearer skies

Heading up to Seattle tonight, YAAAAY. It's been about 5 months, not long in normal life, but seems like ages with everything that's been going on with family. The memorial service is on Tuesday, and Mom gets home from England on Monday, but in the meantime there will catching up with cousins we haven't seen in years, shopping with my sister, my brother's birthday, etc. etc. I'm sighing contended and anticipatory sighs today. :)

rockabilly

Shoot, I didn't really want black...and I wanted my bangs BELOW my eyebrows...but hair grows and color fades and I guess this is me for now!

On Fire

Another day of smokey air and ash...between the crazy wind and the thick brown air, it's hard to be outside! It smells like a giant burning junkyard. This is what it looks like from space (from this site). Seems worse this year than normal? With so many houses and other landmarks burning, we know people who have been evacuated this time and people who have been affected by homes or other buildings that have burned. Not good.

I saw the sign

(and it opened up my eyes...)

Body knows best... It occurs to me that last year about this time I tweaked my knee and couldn't run for a couple weeks. I remember becoming close with the stationary bike it the gym (eww). My roommate remembers too; when I mentioned last night that I think I've done it again, she recalled that I did this to myself last fall too. This time I can think of the moment I did it. I was simply standing with my foot planted and turned weird and it just...tweaked. That was several days ago, and I've been running on it, but last night it said STOP! And today walking is an issue.

Why does it always take me an injury or an illness or some sort of major something to slow me down? Here again, I've found myself physically on the brink of a cold, emotionally on the brink of something resembling hysteria, sleepless, behind, and since those obviously have not been enough, now I am apparently being forced to chill. My human trafficking event thing was canceled for tomorrow, giving me an entirely free day. So I guess I just need to heed all the signs and STOP for a bit. Blah.

see, I am totally organized

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

lord willing and the creek don't rise

My grandpa passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday around 6pm. He had battled multiple scleroses for most of his life, and was almost 90 years old. He has lived in a nursing home the last 4 years and has gotten pretty sick more and more frequently, but always pulled through. He called himself "Sitting Bull" (their last name is Bull) because he was wheelchair bound for the last couple years, and he liked to say, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" He never lost his sense of humor and continued to bless and minister to people even when his illness dictated his lifestyle. He was in a coma all day yesterday, and my mom was able to get there and say goodbye in the morning. My grandma said that the last thing he said to her, the day before as she said goodbye and left for the day, was what he frequently said when you said goodbye: "Lord willing and the creek don't rise." :)

"Poppi," Christmas 2005 at our house in Washington

I remember when I was very young, he had to start wearing velcro tennis shoes because his M.S. caused him to not be able to tie his shoes anymore. I always criss-crossed the velcro strips whenever I saw him. So he started criss-crossing them on his own and did that for the rest of his life. I was so proud. :)

Last Christmas, 2006, he wasn't able to leave the nursing home so we visited him there.

I'm feeling sad today remembering him and that he will no longer be there when I go home to visit. At the same time, he now has a fully functioning body and I can only imagine his joy where he is. :) It was so clearly his time to go, and I'm thankful it was peaceful. My grandma prayed for some time that when it was time, he would just "go to sleep," and that's what happened. I imagine that he is up there walking and using his hands and thinking, "It's about time!" :)

I had to do it, especially since I should be writing a paper...

The family version...

Jib Jab

This is seriously the best thing I have seen in a long time! Made by my friend Kim, starring her, me, Jonny, Bobby, and Janell.

sleep deprivation

This morning on the way into work I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a cake and some other items for a coworker's birthday we'll be celebrating this afternoon. I didn't realize how tired I was until I picked out a cake (and then a different one), and the woman asked, "What would you like written on it?" I stared at her for a minute, thinking, and then replied, and spelled out the name...incorrectly. She looked at me and repeated back to me what I had just said. I looked at her for a second again, and shook my head, saying, "Sorry, I'm having problems. That's totally wrong" and respelled the name, which she repeated again, just to be sure. Sheesh.

running and walking

1. I ran 10 miles Friday night. I felt really good, although my knees bothered me a little for a day or two afterward, mostly on stairs. I like running. I am still indecisive about doing a half marathon because I can't figure out why I like doing this to my body. I can practically feel the cartilage in my knees wearing down. It's unfortunate really, because I think if it weren't for my actual body, I'd do marathons or longer. :)

2. I'm going to Israel in December & January. We've begun meeting every week with our group and doing weekly homework assignments (which I have yet to complete, but nevermind that). When we first signed up, we got a letter about the basic preparations we needed to start doing, passport stuff, dr. appointments, school paperwork, and...practice walking. It really said that. ...

3. On the mountain biking trail that I ran on Friday, there are various parts that have a flatter trail alongside a more challenging one for bikers. Some of those alternate trails are pretty steep (and much more fun for biking, not running). So Friday night as I started to run I saw a group of 40-50 people gathered around in a circle. I did a little loop a few times that night, and I saw them embark on a walk together, with hiking shoes, walking sticks, backpacks, brand new outfits from REI, etc. In Fullerton. On the loop. Most of them took these alternate steeper bike trails. I am sure they must be practicing for some sort of trip! So people actually do that!?

4. I have considered going on more hikes or something to prepare, but I guess if I can run 10, then walking a couple isn't going to hurt me. I guess if I have a hard time once I get there, I'll just run.

Forget the missing "N" ...

What happens if I park for only 10 minutes?

Conflict of Interest

So either the Mariners win, which I always hope for (being from Seattle and a former die-hard fan reduced to fair weather following), or the Angels clinch the division. By the end it was exciting that Seattle was in the lead and all, but I really wanted to be at that clinch game. Didn't happen. But Seattle won! I guess it was a win for me either way.

reflections on my degree (not yet completed).

Several people have asked me lately about my degree and my time in school...do I feel like I need this degree? Do I ever feel like dropping out (a frequent question the first few weeks of school and "syllabus shock")? Was it the right decision to attend grad school?

When I graduate in May it will be 4.5 years. As a whole I've enjoyed my program, but I've come to the realization that I've been here for a lot more than the degree. I think God's used it to keep me here. 3 years ago at the end of an engagement, with no place to live and no job (at the end of a year-long ministry in L.A. for which I raised support), the only thing that kept me here was that I had just finished my first semester at Talbot and I really felt like I was supposed to be there. I realize now that it could have been the fact that I don't really quit anything that I've started, but God uses that too. Whatever the reason, I'd started a program, and I was going to continue in it. Gradually my heart healed, I found some great roommates and a job. Soon school will be done, and the next journey will begin.

But I really think that this time has been so much more about the other things than school. The relationships, the ministry opportunities and roles, the new skills I've learned...teaching bible study and writing curriculum...working with a professor on the notes for a new study bible...valuable friends, mentors, surrogate families :) ...and some pretty significant personal growth and learning. There's more. And the degree is valuable too. But I believe God has used the time for so much more than just school; that was in many ways the thing that kept me here for so long. (I think I'd be long gone if it weren't for that.) There have been a lot of things to learn.

So...yeah, the degree is useful; I've already used it and will definitely use it in the future. Is it absolutely essential for what I want to do? Probably not; I could have done a lot of personal study and reading on my own. But I won't ever regret having it. And I can't say the thought has ever crossed my mind to drop out, surprisingly. Finishing was never a question for me. Like I said, I think God has used that. Was it the right decision? What do you think? :)

Some California friends...on a California beach...ah California... :)

Yep...uh...that one's my roommate.

So, undoubtedly, Kristin was just minding her own business and thinking about the day ahead of her as she got out of the shower on Sunday afternoon, when suddenly I barged into her peaceful reverie by banging on her bathroom door shrieking something about cutting my hand really bad ("stabbed" is actually more accurate) and not knowing what to do. She had the piece of mind to wrap a towel around herself before opening the door, saw my hysteria (and the bloody towel), and said calmly, "I'm getting dressed, and we're going to the hospital." I screeched and wailed and cleaned up my blood and put the turkey burgers back in the freezer and ate crackers so I wouldn't pass out and in no time we were in the car, calling my mom to find out when my last tetanus shot was (10 years...dangit).

So there she is...in all her gold ringed glory, the one to have around in an emergency, and in fact my emergency contact, my roommate, Kristin. 3 cheers...

Do not attempt to break apart frozen turkey patties with a steak knife.

3 stitches, 2 numbing shots in the palm, and one tetanus shot later...guess I'm not going mountain biking this afternoon :(

hotness