party!

Sarah was one of my first friends upon moving to California just about 4 years ago. Lots of fun, growing, and going through life together. She turned 30 this weekend! She really gets hotter with age. :)

my new defense

Think I could use this line? I think I might try it sometime:

"Meanwhile, over the weekend, [Britney] Spears was pulled over in Los Angeles for speeding. However, after a brief conversation, she was let off with just a warning after reportedly telling highway patrol officers she was speeding because she was being chased by the paparazzi."

Fall

Classes started this week, it's that time again. I forgot about buying books until the night before; I just was having such a good time being OUT of school mode! Including our Israel preparation class, I have three classes this semester. This should be interesting.

Fall is always exciting, with school starting, ministries picking up again, and there’s a flurry of activity both at school and at work. This feeling of newness and excitement usually lasts me about two weeks. :) The relaxation of summer is over, new commitments are starting, with many opportunities to pick and choose from. The last two years I’ve been teaching women’s Bible studies, which I won’t be doing this year. This was intended to let me focus on my last semester of school with my three classes. Plus with quite a bit going on personally I’ve been unsure what my capacity would be to be able to give in ministry. (I know, I know…we minister out of our weaknesses or something like that, but really it’s a LOT. I was resigned to taking this semester to work through things, and then start with the lay counseling training in January.)

But here and there little opportunities begin to present themselves that sound good. Working in the high school, which I’ve been praying about, and doing some mentoring there. Continuing with the late night pr0stitute outreach, which I intend to do. Joining a small group of some people my age at church. A prayer ministry. How quickly our time can become filled, with many good things, but again I must practice the discipline of saying no! No! NO!!! :) Fall seems exciting and new and overwhelming and busy all at once. I welcome the new routine and the feelings of accomplishment and purpose, but I sure will miss that summer feeling of having no responsibilities hanging over my head...it's been SO nice, and here's hoping that not too much of my brain turned to mush.

Number Crunching

No, not accounting...thank God. It's these kinds of numbers that keep me occupied throughout the day (not to mention the little notebooks filled with them...). I may have become mildly obsessed, but I just prefer to think of it as "health-minded"...

Today:
Special K ~ 200 cal.
Quakes (rice crackers) ~ 70
2 hardboiled eggs ~ 156
Lean Cuisine ~ 270
peach ~ 50
apple ~ 100
yogurt ~ 60 (=906 cal)
8.2 mile trail run ~ (864 cal burned)

Now we are baking fresh tilapia, brown rice and some vegetables and somewhere I gotta find about 800 more calories to eat. :)

It felt good to be back out there on the trail again (Fullerton Loop). I'll probably be a little stiff tomorrow; lots of hills and uneven ground, not to mention the layer of thick dirt I am covered in...

One year

Kristin and I celebrated our one year anniversary living in the Nut House on Saturday! Yay us.

mirror, mirror on the wall

The perils of power napping

I’ve been really dragging a few times in the last couple weeks, so I’ve tried out the whole “power nap” thing on my lunch break. I only have a half hour, so there’s no way I could sleep more than 30 minutes, which I believe is a stipulation for such a nap (usually 20-30 minutes). Mind you, I don’t have much luck with naps in the first place…I am a really bad sleeper, so if I take a nap at all during the day I will NOT sleep that night (even a few minutes). Also, it usually takes me so long to fall asleep (hours) every night that naps are just comical – there’s no way my body will even begin to think about getting to the point of being able to fall asleep in 30 minutes. But others herald the benefits of short naps, and everything I've read swears that if it's no longer than 20-30 minutes, it won't affect your sleeping that night. (Yeah right.)

Last week, my first attempt, I had not slept AT ALL the previous night, lying awake until at least 3 am and waking up at 5 and being unable to fall asleep again. I was hurting…so I tried to nap. I was so tired, falling asleep on my desk all day, but the moment I laid down I was…not wide awake, but not sleepy enough…? I laid there for 30 full minutes, awake. It did not help me through the rest of my day to save my life. I have better luck falling asleep while typing a blog or driving. Plus my neck was sore for the rest of the day. Power naps are a cruel joke, I thought, nodding off later with my cheek on my desk.

Today I was a little sleepy so I thought I’d try again. Went to the leather couch in the high school room this time (this might be my new hiding place for breaks!). I even brought reading material so as to coax my eyelids into getting heavy and maybe I’d fall asleep. Fast forward 45 minutes. I’m back at my desk. I am so groggy, I have a headache, and I had some weird dreams in my half-sleep that never allowed me to actually get to the bona-fide napping place. I staggered back to my desk when my cell phone alarm went off (after pushing snooze once) and stared at my computer in a daze for about ten minutes until the phone rang and I answered it somewhat audibly.

“Power napping” is a joke!!! By the way so is Tylenol pm, benadryl, and melatonin. Those things do nothing for me.

It's not the shoes.

My new running shoes have been feeling really good on my feet while I run. But as for the other aches and pains that they're supposed to be helping...not so much. I've still had a bit of knee pain, and yesterday I ran a 10K and was keenely aware of my right hip, left knee, and left ankle. I feel like an old person. I wasn't expecting magic healing, but they told me it would help. Who knows, maybe it would be worse without the shoes.

my feet hurt

Joaquin & Jessica got married tonight, yay! Congratulations! :)

night before the wedding

My 4 to 8 Year Plan

I don't do 5 year plans or 10 year plans...when all calculated this equals 4 to 8. And besides, whose long term plans actually come to fruition exactly as they planned anyway? Mine never have. (Most likely because I've never had one. And I'm not sure why I do now, except that with the end of school in sight, perhaps it will appease some people who are wondering what I am going to do next. Because in my opinion, it will get taken care of whether I have a 5-10 year plan or not.)

• I will be completely finished with school in May 2008 (was supposed to be December 07 but don't get me started on their scheduling).
• In Jan or Feb 2008 I am interested (interested!) in going through a lay counseling training program (this is 6 months to a year).
• In early 2008 begin applying to mission agencies.
• Whenever all that pans out, begin raising support...
• And then go.
• (Where? Turkey, Greece, I don't know yet. I do know that I'd like to be doing some sort of outreach/human rights work. I've mentioned the ministry in Athens before, I'll be exploring that more and possibly even visiting in the summer of 2008).
• Stay at least 2 years. Maybe 4. Maybe 10, or forever. :) There is this little statistic that single women burn out faster on the mission field; the average is 2 years. I may be single and I may not be and I have no idea how long this season will last. Let's say 2-3 years, for the sake of our Plan.
• Return, for at least two years, and complete a Master's in Social Work (MSW). This is 2-3 years.
• The Plan ends here. There are obvious trails and opportunities that would follow here, but getting this far has taken a lot out of me. :)

That was kind of fun though.

beautiful people

Sarah & I one or two summers ago in our "twin tops" :)

I had lunch with Sarah yesterday...how my soul feels such a rest and peace when I'm with her. :) There is something about being with those friends who just GET you, each complex layer, and have the capacity and the space to allow you to be who you are in joy or in pain, and to inject joy and encouragement into your life. I needed this; it's been a long and somewhat lonely summer. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I do have people to walk through my valleys with me. :)

my first angels game

At least the Dodgers win whenever I go...I borrowed Ryan ("the funny beard man") from Janell for the evening and Bobby back there was thinking about how to improve his Bill Cosby impersonation.

We got great seats for free (just show up around game time or a little late and hang out by the entrance for all those season ticket holders who weren't able to fill their seats), it was $1 hot dog night, and the Angels lost, HAHA (I really could care less).

when the day seems long...

I have had this song in my head for weeks...

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long -

from this labor and this heartache, I have come.

The skies will wear out, but you remain the same.

Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.

Rock of Ages, You have brought me near.

You have poured out Your life blood, Your love, Your tears,

to make this stone heart come alive again.

Rock of Ages, forgive my sin.

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages,

Bind Your children till the Kingdom comes

Rock of Ages, Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, when in want of rest

My desperate need for such a Savior I confess.

Pull these idols out from my heart embrace.

Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me,

who am I that You would die to make me free?

To give me glory, You took the death and pain,

Rock of Ages, my offering.

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages,

Bind Your children until the Kingdom comes.

Rock of Ages, Your will be done.

Rock of Ages, "It is Done!" You cried,

The curtain's torn and I see justice satisfied.
Now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands.

Rock of Ages, In faith I stand.

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure,

Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul.

Bind Your children with cords of love and grace,

Rock of Ages, we give You praise.

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages,

Bind Your children until the Kingdom comes.

Rock of Ages, Your will be done.

sandra mccracken

what a difference a shoe makes?

Well, whaddaya know ... turns out I've been running in the wrong shoes, and not JUST the wrong shoes, but the wrongest possible shoes. I finally had to break down and buy new running shoes (only about 6-8 months too late), and I decided to go into the Running Lab in Orange for a proper fitting. My friend who works there has been insisting that I'm running in the wrong shoes because if they were the RIGHT shoes, I would not be having my periodic knee pain, etc.

I believe him. I really do. But knee and hip pain runs in my family and no shoe is going to make that go away. But I knew that the proper shoes could at least slow the process of whatever is happening to my poor body. So, my beloved Nimbus = the WRONG SHOE.

After all their measurements and tests and footprints and touchy feeling and observations, turns out my right leg is secretly a fraction longer than my left leg, my joints are loose, and I pronate way more than I thought I did. At least, way more than the people at the OTHER running store noticed. So I got my new shoes, Saucony, and we'll see if they stand the test of time. Not too much time, though, these things don't last very long, and definitely not as long as I like to make them last.

How was that for a completely scintillating blog?

Well I am 28 years old, almost finished with a master’s in theology and biblical studies, and I have finally narrowed it down to the three things I wish I were doing with my life. None of which involve a bible degree. 1. Social Worker; 2. Counselor; 3. Nutritionist. Each of these would be in the context of working with underprivileged. I always knew about the social work thing; my undergrad degree is in sociology. At the time I could not see myself doing that and just floated along with my useless liberal arts degree. But with the things I am interested in now, I’m wishing I had continued with that.

I don’t think I’d trade my Talbot degree; I have enjoyed being there and I feel like what I’ve learned has been (and will be) extremely valuable. And I’m taking comfort in the fact that I have felt all along that that is exactly where I’m supposed to be, and what I’m supposed to be doing during this time. So there’s that. :) But the more I study into the human rights things and different ministries I’ve been interested in, I’m seeing how valuable this MSW would be… and in the context of overseas ministries, any of these 3 career choices would be of great use.

BUT. Here I am. :) For a reason. I’m still pursuing a ministry to prostitutes in Athens that I would love to spend some time with in the next few years. Prostitution is legal in Greece, and many of the girls there are brought in through sex trafficking. This is a huge “industry” in Europe where girls are lured with promises of nanny and waitress jobs, and it has found its way into the United States. I was horrified to read the other day that at any given time, it is believed that there are 20,000 - 30,000 “sex slaves” in the U.S. alone, toddlers through early 20s. Most of these “operations” are run through homes in middle class neighborhoods. Here is a good article with a lot of information on it if you are interested. I’m trying to do more research, educate myself a little more, and look for more opportunities to somehow DO something. (Why did I not do social work???) Perhaps in the future more school will be on the agenda but I am really done for now.

Side note, you should really read this book… I haven’t been impacted like this by a book in a long time – still, even now, some time later. War, death, killing, tremendous loss, and eventual rehabilitation from the perspective of a 12-15 year old child affected me really deeply. Seeing the author speak now (he’s on the board of Human Rights Watch I think among other things, and SO well spoken) is a testimony to the resilience of humanity and also the love of people who are willing to sacrifice much for the lives of others…

Blah blah…I’m changing desks and jobs today within the office…I hope it’s a good change…

Birthday Celebration/Fattening Gorge Fests #3 & 4

Birthday lunch at Alicia's Cafe...yum.
(brownies for my birthday...YUM.)
Dinner out again...yum. Good to see my Dad, who came up to take me out to dinner tonight.
(Ran 4 more miles today...HOT. Gotta keep up with all the celebrating.)

I think that will about do it. I've been full for two straight days. It's only once a year, right! Well, plus Christmas. And Thanksgiving. 4th of July. Easter. And other people's birthdays. And bridal showers (tomorrow). Not very often.

28 glorious years of living

woohoo. :)

Perhaps I will try this conversation today, from The Office, which cracks me up every single time I see it or think about it:

Michael: Happy Birthday, Jan!
Jan: It's not my birthday.
Michael: Oh really? Because I thought we shared a birthday.
Jan: (pause) Happy birthday, Michael.

:)

Birthday Celebration/Fattening Gorge Fest #2

Yesterday I biked 20 miles and the day before ran 4 miles and the day before that ran 6 miles, just in case you were wondering. Because right now I am SO FULL. But it's my BIRTHDAY!

Birthday Celebration/Fattening Gorge Fest #1

I heart Costco cake... celebration #1: (ok it was just in our staff meeting at work today, but I had my favorite cake ever and they sang to me, so it counts.)

Birthday week officially commences.