off for clearer skies

Heading up to Seattle tonight, YAAAAY. It's been about 5 months, not long in normal life, but seems like ages with everything that's been going on with family. The memorial service is on Tuesday, and Mom gets home from England on Monday, but in the meantime there will catching up with cousins we haven't seen in years, shopping with my sister, my brother's birthday, etc. etc. I'm sighing contended and anticipatory sighs today. :)

rockabilly

Shoot, I didn't really want black...and I wanted my bangs BELOW my eyebrows...but hair grows and color fades and I guess this is me for now!

On Fire

Another day of smokey air and ash...between the crazy wind and the thick brown air, it's hard to be outside! It smells like a giant burning junkyard. This is what it looks like from space (from this site). Seems worse this year than normal? With so many houses and other landmarks burning, we know people who have been evacuated this time and people who have been affected by homes or other buildings that have burned. Not good.

I saw the sign

(and it opened up my eyes...)

Body knows best... It occurs to me that last year about this time I tweaked my knee and couldn't run for a couple weeks. I remember becoming close with the stationary bike it the gym (eww). My roommate remembers too; when I mentioned last night that I think I've done it again, she recalled that I did this to myself last fall too. This time I can think of the moment I did it. I was simply standing with my foot planted and turned weird and it just...tweaked. That was several days ago, and I've been running on it, but last night it said STOP! And today walking is an issue.

Why does it always take me an injury or an illness or some sort of major something to slow me down? Here again, I've found myself physically on the brink of a cold, emotionally on the brink of something resembling hysteria, sleepless, behind, and since those obviously have not been enough, now I am apparently being forced to chill. My human trafficking event thing was canceled for tomorrow, giving me an entirely free day. So I guess I just need to heed all the signs and STOP for a bit. Blah.

see, I am totally organized

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

lord willing and the creek don't rise

My grandpa passed away peacefully in his sleep yesterday around 6pm. He had battled multiple scleroses for most of his life, and was almost 90 years old. He has lived in a nursing home the last 4 years and has gotten pretty sick more and more frequently, but always pulled through. He called himself "Sitting Bull" (their last name is Bull) because he was wheelchair bound for the last couple years, and he liked to say, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" He never lost his sense of humor and continued to bless and minister to people even when his illness dictated his lifestyle. He was in a coma all day yesterday, and my mom was able to get there and say goodbye in the morning. My grandma said that the last thing he said to her, the day before as she said goodbye and left for the day, was what he frequently said when you said goodbye: "Lord willing and the creek don't rise." :)

"Poppi," Christmas 2005 at our house in Washington

I remember when I was very young, he had to start wearing velcro tennis shoes because his M.S. caused him to not be able to tie his shoes anymore. I always criss-crossed the velcro strips whenever I saw him. So he started criss-crossing them on his own and did that for the rest of his life. I was so proud. :)

Last Christmas, 2006, he wasn't able to leave the nursing home so we visited him there.

I'm feeling sad today remembering him and that he will no longer be there when I go home to visit. At the same time, he now has a fully functioning body and I can only imagine his joy where he is. :) It was so clearly his time to go, and I'm thankful it was peaceful. My grandma prayed for some time that when it was time, he would just "go to sleep," and that's what happened. I imagine that he is up there walking and using his hands and thinking, "It's about time!" :)

I had to do it, especially since I should be writing a paper...

The family version...

Jib Jab

This is seriously the best thing I have seen in a long time! Made by my friend Kim, starring her, me, Jonny, Bobby, and Janell.

sleep deprivation

This morning on the way into work I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a cake and some other items for a coworker's birthday we'll be celebrating this afternoon. I didn't realize how tired I was until I picked out a cake (and then a different one), and the woman asked, "What would you like written on it?" I stared at her for a minute, thinking, and then replied, and spelled out the name...incorrectly. She looked at me and repeated back to me what I had just said. I looked at her for a second again, and shook my head, saying, "Sorry, I'm having problems. That's totally wrong" and respelled the name, which she repeated again, just to be sure. Sheesh.

running and walking

1. I ran 10 miles Friday night. I felt really good, although my knees bothered me a little for a day or two afterward, mostly on stairs. I like running. I am still indecisive about doing a half marathon because I can't figure out why I like doing this to my body. I can practically feel the cartilage in my knees wearing down. It's unfortunate really, because I think if it weren't for my actual body, I'd do marathons or longer. :)

2. I'm going to Israel in December & January. We've begun meeting every week with our group and doing weekly homework assignments (which I have yet to complete, but nevermind that). When we first signed up, we got a letter about the basic preparations we needed to start doing, passport stuff, dr. appointments, school paperwork, and...practice walking. It really said that. ...

3. On the mountain biking trail that I ran on Friday, there are various parts that have a flatter trail alongside a more challenging one for bikers. Some of those alternate trails are pretty steep (and much more fun for biking, not running). So Friday night as I started to run I saw a group of 40-50 people gathered around in a circle. I did a little loop a few times that night, and I saw them embark on a walk together, with hiking shoes, walking sticks, backpacks, brand new outfits from REI, etc. In Fullerton. On the loop. Most of them took these alternate steeper bike trails. I am sure they must be practicing for some sort of trip! So people actually do that!?

4. I have considered going on more hikes or something to prepare, but I guess if I can run 10, then walking a couple isn't going to hurt me. I guess if I have a hard time once I get there, I'll just run.

Forget the missing "N" ...

What happens if I park for only 10 minutes?

Conflict of Interest

So either the Mariners win, which I always hope for (being from Seattle and a former die-hard fan reduced to fair weather following), or the Angels clinch the division. By the end it was exciting that Seattle was in the lead and all, but I really wanted to be at that clinch game. Didn't happen. But Seattle won! I guess it was a win for me either way.

reflections on my degree (not yet completed).

Several people have asked me lately about my degree and my time in school...do I feel like I need this degree? Do I ever feel like dropping out (a frequent question the first few weeks of school and "syllabus shock")? Was it the right decision to attend grad school?

When I graduate in May it will be 4.5 years. As a whole I've enjoyed my program, but I've come to the realization that I've been here for a lot more than the degree. I think God's used it to keep me here. 3 years ago at the end of an engagement, with no place to live and no job (at the end of a year-long ministry in L.A. for which I raised support), the only thing that kept me here was that I had just finished my first semester at Talbot and I really felt like I was supposed to be there. I realize now that it could have been the fact that I don't really quit anything that I've started, but God uses that too. Whatever the reason, I'd started a program, and I was going to continue in it. Gradually my heart healed, I found some great roommates and a job. Soon school will be done, and the next journey will begin.

But I really think that this time has been so much more about the other things than school. The relationships, the ministry opportunities and roles, the new skills I've learned...teaching bible study and writing curriculum...working with a professor on the notes for a new study bible...valuable friends, mentors, surrogate families :) ...and some pretty significant personal growth and learning. There's more. And the degree is valuable too. But I believe God has used the time for so much more than just school; that was in many ways the thing that kept me here for so long. (I think I'd be long gone if it weren't for that.) There have been a lot of things to learn.

So...yeah, the degree is useful; I've already used it and will definitely use it in the future. Is it absolutely essential for what I want to do? Probably not; I could have done a lot of personal study and reading on my own. But I won't ever regret having it. And I can't say the thought has ever crossed my mind to drop out, surprisingly. Finishing was never a question for me. Like I said, I think God has used that. Was it the right decision? What do you think? :)

Some California friends...on a California beach...ah California... :)

Yep...uh...that one's my roommate.

So, undoubtedly, Kristin was just minding her own business and thinking about the day ahead of her as she got out of the shower on Sunday afternoon, when suddenly I barged into her peaceful reverie by banging on her bathroom door shrieking something about cutting my hand really bad ("stabbed" is actually more accurate) and not knowing what to do. She had the piece of mind to wrap a towel around herself before opening the door, saw my hysteria (and the bloody towel), and said calmly, "I'm getting dressed, and we're going to the hospital." I screeched and wailed and cleaned up my blood and put the turkey burgers back in the freezer and ate crackers so I wouldn't pass out and in no time we were in the car, calling my mom to find out when my last tetanus shot was (10 years...dangit).

So there she is...in all her gold ringed glory, the one to have around in an emergency, and in fact my emergency contact, my roommate, Kristin. 3 cheers...

Do not attempt to break apart frozen turkey patties with a steak knife.

3 stitches, 2 numbing shots in the palm, and one tetanus shot later...guess I'm not going mountain biking this afternoon :(

hotness

what I'm learning

• i'm not feeling motivated to start doing homework again.
• it's ok to be "in process." no one expects me to have it together all the time.
• living in southern california means there are a few weeks a year where you are just going to sweat all the time. no one can remain "fresh feeling" when it's 105 degrees.
• how to be real. i think i've never really allowed myself to be real to people, sharing the good and the crap. i haven't believed people would accept me still. in fact people value me and my relationship with them more when i share my true self with them.
• unconditional love creates trust and more boldness to share myself.
• i need york peppermint patties regularly.
• i have good friends, and i have lots to learn from them.
• it's easy to fall into old habits and turn down opportunities to teach when asked! sometimes i need to just say yes to stretch myself.
• i can run a half marathon.

party!

Sarah was one of my first friends upon moving to California just about 4 years ago. Lots of fun, growing, and going through life together. She turned 30 this weekend! She really gets hotter with age. :)

my new defense

Think I could use this line? I think I might try it sometime:

"Meanwhile, over the weekend, [Britney] Spears was pulled over in Los Angeles for speeding. However, after a brief conversation, she was let off with just a warning after reportedly telling highway patrol officers she was speeding because she was being chased by the paparazzi."

Fall

Classes started this week, it's that time again. I forgot about buying books until the night before; I just was having such a good time being OUT of school mode! Including our Israel preparation class, I have three classes this semester. This should be interesting.

Fall is always exciting, with school starting, ministries picking up again, and there’s a flurry of activity both at school and at work. This feeling of newness and excitement usually lasts me about two weeks. :) The relaxation of summer is over, new commitments are starting, with many opportunities to pick and choose from. The last two years I’ve been teaching women’s Bible studies, which I won’t be doing this year. This was intended to let me focus on my last semester of school with my three classes. Plus with quite a bit going on personally I’ve been unsure what my capacity would be to be able to give in ministry. (I know, I know…we minister out of our weaknesses or something like that, but really it’s a LOT. I was resigned to taking this semester to work through things, and then start with the lay counseling training in January.)

But here and there little opportunities begin to present themselves that sound good. Working in the high school, which I’ve been praying about, and doing some mentoring there. Continuing with the late night pr0stitute outreach, which I intend to do. Joining a small group of some people my age at church. A prayer ministry. How quickly our time can become filled, with many good things, but again I must practice the discipline of saying no! No! NO!!! :) Fall seems exciting and new and overwhelming and busy all at once. I welcome the new routine and the feelings of accomplishment and purpose, but I sure will miss that summer feeling of having no responsibilities hanging over my head...it's been SO nice, and here's hoping that not too much of my brain turned to mush.