Speed Racer

Ha ha, not quite I guess. I ran three miles earlier tonight in 26 minutes and some change. I broke the 9 minute mile mark. This was a nice little goal and I just broke it. Yippee!

unfinished thoughts

Who am I?

I am not of this world, yet I find myself entangled in it.
I am not fully devoted to God, yet I find myself yearning for this.

I am surrounded by people at various stages in their walk…young and passionate for Jesus…older and seasoned…older and young in the faith…young and a veteran in prayer and spiritual warfare…those who live their lives in ministry…those whose faith is a second thought…those who give of themselves to others without thinking of the cost…those who call themselves by a name but whose lives do not reflect it.

Who am I? I seem to waffle between many of those, longing to identify myself as one or another but feeling as though I can’t live up to it. Longing to live my life in devotion and prayer and purity but feeling my weaknesses and selfishness guiding me down less noble paths. I know who I want to be, but my "flesh" fights a convincing battle against that goal.

Is it a goal? A resolution? A destination? A journey…one that I find myself on in various stages any given day. Step forward, step back. Step aside and play in the thicket on the side of the path, not going either direction...

mold me shape me

Remold me, reshape me... again...

Come to Jesus

I have this in my heart today...a simple call...

Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus)

Weak and wounded sinner

Lost and left to die

O, raise your head, for love is passing by

Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted

And carried far away

And precious blood has washed away the stain, so

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby

Don't be afraid to crawl

And remember when you walk sometimes we fall...so

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely

And steep and filled with pain

So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over

And music fills the night

And when you can't contain your joy inside, then

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat

Kiss the world goodbye

Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

A walk down amnesia lane

Ok my brother came up with that one...but speaking of my brother, I found these really old family pics that are just a trip...

These are my parents, I think after they got engaged:

Us in all our flattering gorgeous glory, I'm guessing this was around my glorious jr. high years, or around 1992 or 93? (Don't know where Travis was, but he was probably smart to get out of the picture):

Ha, this must have been around 2000, Christmas (the only time of year we take these pictures, and the only time of year we are all this pasty!) :

And this is from June, from Lindy's wedding! See, we all turned out ok! :) Fun.

schooooool's out for summer!

Had my last class last night! All done for a whole month (that sounds like an eternity right about now). Let's go surfing!

Need a Rx

My jeans pockets are a medicine cabinet. I have been getting my headaches again, so on top of all the other regulars (synthroid, multi-vitamin, glucosamine) I have Excedrin migraine and Advil (which I am now basically immune to but still helps with regular muscle aches—and no I don’t take the two together!) and my pockets are nearly bulging with pills. A few months ago I was sick and I added three antibiotic pills and two cold pills daily to my pocket stash. No wonder I feel nauseous sometimes, including right now…or that could be the chocolate cake on the kitchen counter that forced me to eat it for breakfast…or the general lack of sleep I’ve been an innocent victim of over the last two weeks…or perhaps my daily morning combination of waking up too early, running, being too hot, trying to dry and flat iron my hair in my hot house while dripping with sweat and passing out in front of the fan every 30 seconds. Nausea, hot flashes, headaches, there must be some kind of pill I can take for all of that.

I thought I was a nerd?!

94% scored higher (more nerdy), and 6% scored lower (less nerdy).
What does this mean? Your nerdiness is: Definitely not nerdy, you are probably cool.


Interesting. I think this mostly means I don't know a lot of the basic information that I should have learned in high school chemistry and history. :)

I should have known. I don't use words like "whilst" or "caveat" or "soporific'; I don't collect anything and I don't know the first thing about computer programming or vulcans. Still I feel a little blindsided by the whole thing, a little...disappointed. :)

My blog & the life of Christ

Yes, I can make those two topics go together.

I’m bored with my blog. If I’m boring myself it can’t be that interesting for others either! :) Today I made a new blog banner perhaps to inspire myself to write more exciting things. Like, yesterday driving home on surface streets I saw 5 different shoes in the middle or on the side of the road. Why are there single shoes on the street? How do people lose their shoes while driving??? And wouldn’t they notice they are missing one shoe and go back and get it? You can’t very easily leave or go someplace without a shoe…I would think you would notice you were only wearing one.

I’m in my last week of summer school, taking the class “Life of Christ.” It has been good to fill in the other gospels with Matthew’s depiction of Jesus’ ministry. :) But aside from noticing how different gospel writers portray particular events of his life, it has felt like a Bible study. For four hours at a time, two evenings a week. I like Bible studies. I’ve just never paid $1200 for a 5 week one. I might look into teaching one of those; could be quite lucrative! Matthew anyone? Oh, wait…we just did that.

I have a new goal for my summer: I want to watch as many Jesus movies as I can find. Watching clips in my class has given me a good start:


(The Visual Bible: Matthew - "Happy Jesus")

Claymation; I love this one! We didn't watch it in class, nor do I really put it in the same class as the other ones with real actors, but I've been a fan of this for a few years. :)

Gospel of John - the best portrayal of Jesus that we've seen in class. He gets angry, he yells at Pharisees, yet he is compassionate and patient. Can't wait to watch the whole thing.



Also we have Pier Pasolini's "young angry" Jesus ("The Gospel According to St. Matthew" - description according to my professor); the recent and pretty liberal made for TV "Jesus - The Greatest Story Ever Told"; "Jesus of Nazareth"; etc.

I'm mostly curious as to how each one portrays Jesus. The Matthew video (pictured above) is the portrayal of the happy sentimental Sunday school Jesus we grew up with who hugs everyone and giggles as he asks Peter, "Are you still so dull??" Sigh. Maybe somewhere in the middle of all the Jesuses represented, perhaps with pieces from each character, will be a person somewhat like the one that really was. Hmm--I'll keep you posted. :)

Fun with the water camera...

CATALINA - JULY 14

What a great day...

Emerald Bay

Two Harbors

Just a day at the beach... (yesterday!)

No surfing allowed...body boarding will have to do :)

You can bet I got clobbered about a half second after snapping this picture...
but it was worth it. :)

Something I never thought I'd buy...

Ever bought your own birthday cake? I am in charge of birthdays and anniversaries at our monthly staff meetings, and we always celebrate with cake. Today was our meeting...and my birthday. I thought it a little ridiculous that I had to buy my own birthday cake, and since no one else has a birthday this month, I decided to do it just the way I like it: specially made for me, chocolate cake, chocolate filling, chocolate frosting, with cute decorations and my name on it. Hmmph. :)

It was VERY yummy.

a new home.

I just wanted to share...this is a first:

Matthew is ON THE BOOKSHELF!!!! Not on the floor, not on my desk, not anywhere near my computer or bed waiting to be read or typed out of! :) I hope it likes its new home; it does have some friends. (The scary thing is I have read two of those three commentaries in their entirety -- the two biggest.)

The ESV notes are due to the publisher in August...not sure if that's going to happen but at least my part is done. There was mention of another commentary project due in 2007 or 08 or something...I am going to have to think LONG and HARD before I say...NO...to that one. This has been a great opportunity, I've learned so much, and it's really made me appreciate the gospels and the life of Christ so much more. But I think it's too much while I'm in school.

I tend to forget the bad memories and retain the good -- someone please remind me in a couple months when I'm considering more commentary work that it was way more work than I ever imagined and that my back and neck hurt right now from spending so much time leaning over the book and the computer, and that I have completely alienated my roommates because I spend all my time at home shut up in my room. (By then this will all have worn off and I'm likely to say yes again because it IS such an awesome opportunity...actually already it's not seeming too bad...help.) :)

New apartment!!!

Yay, good things happen when I trust and wait, instead of getting all worked up and panicked. :) Kristin and I found a place to live today. Move date is August 12. Very thankful. :)

about me

Someone sent me this...and I have nothing else interesting to post about. :)

What were you doing 10 years ago:
The summer of ’96 … the summer before my senior year of high school. I can’t remember if that was a Mexico mission trip or the China one that year.
What were you doing 1 year ago:
Ha. Not much diffferent than I’m doing now – summer school and work!
Name five snacks you enjoy:
- Golden Spoon
- york peppermint patties
- chips and salsa
- fresh fruit (not melon – BLEH!)
- Nature Valley fruit & nut bars!
Name five things you would do with a million dollars:
Really, I think a million is a little excessive…I always thought I would be happy with around 30-50K, to pay things off and break even after a couple of necessary purchases. :) But if you insist on a million:
- pay off school debt and for the rest of my education
- support missionaries and other organizations
- save/invest
- travel
- buy a condo or house
Name five bad habits:
- not balancing my checkbook
- not wearing sunscreen
- hitting “snooze” for an hour every morning
- shopping (well – the impulse buys. Like, I HAD to have that cute purse I bought the other day at JCrew, mostly because I had liked it when it was $88.00, then $49.99, and mostly when it was $14.99! But I still didn’t NEED it. Or those cute blue tennis shoes on the clearance rack the other day…and usually I am not this lucky.)
- waiting until the last minute (I work better under deadlines…really…I do)
Name five things you like to do:
only five?!
- running, mountain biking, and triathlons
- learning
- traveling, mostly missions-related
- sleeping, and I need to do more of this
- hanging out with friends: surfing, biking, shopping, watching movies, laying around, etc. etc. etc.
Name five favorite games or toys:
- mountain bike
- surfboard/boogie board
- Cranium
- badminton, tennis, golf (yes I like golfing, if I have a cart, and if I’m not terrible that day)
- the Celebrity Name Game! If you’ve ever ridden in a car with me for more than an hour, you know what this is (and the mere mention of it probably strikes fear and dread into your heart!!)

8 miles tonight

1:18:48
I feel really good. Weather was perfect (started right around 8pm when it had cooled off), scenery was nice (Seal Beach), company was always good (who else would run 8 miles with me but Noah)...I love running...I feel great, and I've started to get excited about running longer distances. I switched back to my old shoes because they are a half size bigger, and it does wonders. Kneecaps a little sore while running, but fine afterward.

:)

It is FINISHED!

I just finished my Matthew notes for the ESV study bible and sent them off to my buddy Mike Wilkins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 4th of July! :)

Fabber's Surf 'n' Sail

Is it July yet??? Barely...June was a VERY long month! Frankly I'll be glad to see July fly by (minus my birthday!); summer school and wrapping up the Matthew project--and on my way to a free month of August before the next semester starts! (Will it really be "free"? It never turns out that way. I'm not even sure how I'm going to handle having no homework, bible study curriculum, or commentary stuff hanging over my head for the first time in 2 years...most likely as soon as I feel used to it, school will start again!)

Also hoping to move August 1st...provided we find a place in time! Could use your prayers on that. We need something affordable, that we feel comfortable and safe in, in a convenient location... :)

Today we went down to San Onofre, one of the top surfing spots in California. Supposedly someone got a picture of me actually in the water on my board, but who knows if I'll ever see that!! If I do you know it's going on my blog! I got up to my knees today, then rode the wave straight into the rocky beach and raked my knees along the bottom for awhile. I have the wounds to prove it! But it was fun, I'm slowly getting more confident out there.

Then we took Noah's boat out for the inaugural sail of the season! It was nice and peaceful...nothing like being in a sailboat in the middle of the water to to relax you. Yay for summer!

P.S. My nickname has somehow become "Fabber" ... ?! :) I guess I said "fabby!" one too many times.

The Invincibility of the Wetsuit

and other such interesting possible blog titles (thanks Noah) ...

• A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing: the Life of a Foursquare Woman in a Baptist Church
• The Justification of Chocolate Consumption While on a Juice Fast
• Does a Pink Swimcap Count as a Head Covering in the Pauline Epistles?

This is ongoing...

on Satan... (light topic)

Does Satan believe the Bible?

Why would he choose to go up against someone that he knows to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent? (Would you play cards against someone you knew was omniscient?) Without question he knows the Bible, better than we, and probably even in the original language! :) But there is a difference between knowing and believing, as we often witness in our own lives.

I’ve had the thought that he is well aware of God’s power and victory, as well as the fact that his time is limited. So he has made it his aim to try and lead as many believers astray as possible and generally wreak as much havoc as possible until he is permanently defeated.

There’s also the possibility that he is just completely deranged (perhaps not untrue), and knows he is wrong, yet keeps fighting anyway. (Have you ever known you were arguing a losing point, even that you were probably wrong, yet for some reason that caused you to argue for it more strongly? Yes, that is kind of childish and a little unbalanced, but I don’t suppose Satan is above those things either?)

But how about the possibility that he really doesn’t believe it? He has read the things that we have read, he has witnessed the power of God, and seen that in reality he is no match. He has heard that he is really going to lose in the end, and that God has dominion and power over all things, including him. So why in someone’s right mind would they continue to battle against a power and authority like that, unless they didn’t really believe it? Perhaps he still thinks he has a chance, some possibility of defeating God and becoming the supreme power in the world?

I don’t know…thoughts??

only fond memories here...and new aspirations...

So when's the next triathlon?

Really, it only took a matter of hours for me to forget about the near drowning experience in the middle of the lake (ok, an exxaggeration, but it was a grueling swim for me!) and the heat stroke - inducing and rubber-melting running conditions, not to mention stomach cramps and camera batteries dying at key moments ... it was a totally fun race!! Of COURSE I'm doing it again next year! One under my belt, I'm so much better prepared, and very ready to recruit YOU to join me.

While we're discussing races, fitness, and goal-setting (yes all of them), how about the Long Beach marathon October 15? Just the half, that is, a mere 13.1 miles. I am going to make this a goal, with the option to bail at any time only as a result of faulty knees. It's pretty discouraging to feel great "cardiovascularly" and be able to continue forever, yet be hampered by older-than-their-time knees that can't hack a few extra miles here and there. I think they're basically like a time-bomb at this point; I don't know how much time I have left. So, I can either prolongue my running days by continuing to do little 3 mile jogs every morning, or I can keep adding mileage (my last long run was 9.7 miles - heart good, knees bad, see above comment), do the half marathon, and then limp for the rest of my life.

Those people who run marathons in their 80s? Hate them.

So, I am going to add miles little by little with the anticipated goal of the LB half in October, and see how my knees do. If I can't do it, I will settle for the knowledge that I really CAN do it, but that it's best that I don't. :) In that case you'll see me on the bike tour that morning instead. :)